The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 1Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 1
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"You're going," she said, "where the fleets are in leash,
Where plumed is a knight for each wave of the sea;
Yet all the wide Ocean shall have but One wave,
One ship and One sailor for me!"
He left her, as leaveth the god of a dream
The portals that close with a heavier sleep;
And then, as he sprang to the shallop in wait,
The rowers pushed off in the Deep.
When a captain leaves his lady-fair nowadays, my boy, he's not an
economical man if he don't destroy his life-insurance policy, and defer
making his will.
Yours, navally,
ORPHEUS C. KERR.
LETTER LI.
GIVING DUE PROMINENCE ONCE MORE TO THE CONSERVATIVE ELEMENT, NOTING A
CAT-AND-DOG AFFAIR, AND REPORTING CAPTAIN BOB SHORTY'S FORAGING
EXPEDITION.
WASHINGTON, D.C., June 23d, 1862.
Not wishing to expire prematurely of inanity, my boy, I started again
last Sunday for Paris, where I took up my quarters with a dignified
conservative chap from the Border States, who came on for the express
purpose of informing the Executive that Kentucky is determined this war
shall be carried on without detriment to the material interests of the
South, otherwise Kentucky will not be answerable for herself. Kentucky
has married into the South, and has relations there which she refuses
to sacrifice. What does the Constitution say about Kentucky? Why, it
don't say anything about her. "Which is clear proof," says the
conservative chap, violently, "that Kentucky is expected to take care
of herself. Kentucky," says he, buttoning his vest over the handle of
his bowie-knife. "Kentucky will stand no nonsense whatsomever."
I have much respect for Kentucky, my boy; they play a good hand of Old
Sledge there, and train up a child in the way he should go fifty
better; but Kentucky reminds me of a chap I once knew in the Sixth
Ward. This chap hired a room with another chap, and the two were
engaged in the dollar-jewelry business. Their stock in trade was more
numerous than valuable, my boy, and a man couldn't steal it without
suffering a most painful swindle; but the two dilapidaries were all the
time afraid of thieves; and at last, when a gentleman of suspicious
aspect moved into the lower part of the house, and flavored his
familiar conversation with such terms as "swag," "kinchin," and
"coppers," the second chap insisted upon buying a watch-dog. The first
chap said he didn't like dogs, but if his partner thought they'd better
have one, he would not object to his buying it. The second chap bought
a sausagacious animal in white and yellow, my boy--an animal covered
with bark that pealed off in large pieces all night long. The first
chap found he couldn't sleep much, and says he:
"If you don't kill that ere stentorian beast we'll have to dissolve
pardnership."
His partner took a thoughtful chew of tobacco, and says he:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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