"Ha!" says Villiam, starting out of a brown study, and putting some cloves in his mouth, to disguise the water he'd drank on his way from Accomac--"I was just thinking what my poor old mother would say if she could see me and the other snobs here to-night. When I look on the women of America around me to-night," says Villiam, feelingly, "and see how much they've cut off from the tops of their dresses, to make bandages for our wounded soldiers, I can't help feeling that their 'neck-or-nothing' appearance--so far from being indelicate, is a very delicate proof of their devoted love of Union." "I agree with you, my azure humanitarian," says I. "There's precious little _waist_ about such dresses." Villiam closed one eye, turned his head one-side like a facetious canary, and says he: "Now lovely woman scants her dress, with bandages the sick to bless; and stoops so far to war's alarms, her very frock is under arms!" I believe him, my boy! Returning to the General, we took a turn in the East Room, and enjoyed the panorama of youth, beauty, and whiskers, that wound its variegated length before us. The charming Mrs. L----, of Illinois, was richly attired in a frock and gloves, and wore a wreath of flowers from amaranthine bowers. She was affable as an angel with a new pair of wings, and was universally allowed to be the most beautiful woman present. The enthralling Miss C----, from Ohio, was elegantly clad in a dress, and wore number-four gaiters. So brilliant was her smile, that when she laughed at one of Lord Lyons' witicisms, all one corner of the room was wrapped in a glare of light, and several nervous dowagers cried "Fire!" Her beauty was certainly the most beautiful present. The fascinating Miss L----, of Pennsylvania, was superbly robed in an attire of costly material, with expensive flounces. She wore two gloves and a complete pair of ear-rings, and spoke so musically that the leader of the Marine Band thought there was an æolian harp in the window. She was certainly the most beautiful woman present. The bewitching Mrs. G----, from Missouri, was splendidly dressed in a breastpin and lace flounces, and wore her hair brushed back from a forehead like Mount Athos. Her eyes reminded one of diamond springs sparkling in the shade of whispering willows. She was decidedly the finest type of beauty present. The President wore his coat and whiskers, and bowed to all salutations like a graceful door-hinge. There was a tall Western Senator present, who smiled so much above his stomach, that I was reminded of the beautiful lines: "As some tall cliff that lifts its awful form, Swells from the vale, and midway leaves the storm; Though round its base a country's ruin spread, Eternal moonshine settles on its head."