"And what excuse have you to offer, my trooper?" says Captain Bob Shorty, pointing the question with his spoon. "Is the general a gentleman?" says Villiam, searchingly. The court believed him to be such. "Ah!" says Villiam, "then if he's a gentleman, he always _keeps_ his word, and of course it is impossible to _take_ it." Verdict of "not guilty, with a recommendation to mercy." Courts of Inquiry, my boy, are calculated to draw out the rich humor of military character, and are equally useful and appropriate with all other jokes, in times of devastating war. Yours, smilingly, ORPHEUS C. KERR. LETTER LXXVII. SHOWING WHAT EFFECT DEMOCRATIC TRIUMPHS HAVE UPON THE PRESIDENT, NOTING OUR CORRESPONDENT'S STRANGE MISTAKE ABOUT A BRITISH FLAG, AND INDICATING THE STRAGETIC ADVANCE OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE. WASHINGTON, D. C., November 7th, 1862. The late election in New York, my boy, has electrified everybody except our Honest Abe, who still goes about smiling, like a long and amiable sexton, and continues to save our distracted country after the manner of an honest man. On Tuesday night, a high moral Democratic chap, of much watch-seal, who had just received a dispatch all about the election, went to see the Honest Abe, for the express purpose of telling him that the Democratic party had been born again, and was on the point of protesting against everything whatsoever, except the Constitution of our forefathers. He found the Honest Abe cracking some walnuts before the fire, my boy, and says he: "The celebrated Democratic organization, of which I am Assistant Engineer, has carried the State of New York in a manner impossible to express, and will now proceed to demand of you a vigorous prosecution of that unnatural strife in which are involved our lives, our liberties, and the pursuit of happiness. We admire to see your harmless honesty," says the chap, blandly, "and we believe you to be a fresh egg; but we protest against the arbitrary arrest of men which is patriots, only conservatively Democratic; and we insist upon a vigorous prosecution of Constitutional hostilities against our misguided brothers who are now offering irregular opposition to the Government." The Honest Abe cracked a walnut, and says he: "You say, neighbor, that the organization still insists upon a vigorous prosecution of the war?" The Democratic chap sliced a toothpick from the arm of the chair with his knife, and says he: "That is the present platform on which we are _E pluribus unum_." "Well," says the Honest Abe, "I believe that you mean well; but am reminded of a little story.