The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
Though each distinctive as the soul
Of some new world not yet begun,
In bright career their courses blend
Round Liberty's unchanging Sun.
Thus ever shine, ye Stars, for all!
And palsied be the hand that harms
Earth's pleading signal to the skies,
And Heav'ns immortal Coat of Arms.
You are probably aware, my boy, that the unconquerable Mackerel Brigade
is still advancing upon Washington in a highly respectable and
strategic manner; and that all correspondents are excluded from the
lines, lest some of them, in their natural blackness of heart, should
construe the advance upon Washington into a retreat from Richmond.
But I gained admission to the scene by adopting the airy and pleasing
uniform of the Southern Confederacy; and am thereby enabled to give you
some further account of the skillful retrograde advance to which I
dimly referred in my absorbing last.
The uniform of the Southern Confederacy is much respected by many of
our officers, my boy, and is the only guise in which a fellow-being may
scrutinize the national strategic works with entire safety.
Thus attired, I joined the Mackerel Brigade in its cheerful work of
pushing Richmond away from its martial front, and having penetrated to
the rear where horrible carnage was being wrought in the frantic ranks
of the Confederacy, I beheld the idolized General of the Mackerel
Brigade anxiously searching for something upon the ground. In a moment,
he looked up, and says he to the warriors in his neighborhood:
"My children, have you seen anything of a small black bottle that I
placed upon the grass, just now, when I turned to speak to my aid?"
A Mackerel chap coughed respectfully, and says he: "I guess it was
taken by some equestrian Confederacies, which has just made another
raid."
"Thunder!" says the General, "that's the third bottle I've lost in the
same way within an hour." And he proceeded slowly and thoughtfully to
mount his horse, which stood eyeing him with funereal solemnity and
many inequalities of surface.
Turning to another part of the line, my boy, I beheld Captain Villiam
Brown and Captain Bob Shorty in the act of performing a great strategic
movement with the indomitable Conic Section, many of whom were
employing the moment to take a last look at the canteens presented to
them before leaving home by their devoted mothers. A number of reckless
Confederacies had just crossed a bridge spanning a small stream near
by, and the object of this daring movement was to suddenly destroy the
bridge before they could retreat and then make prisoners of the whole.
It was a sublime conception, my boy--it was a sublime conception, and
rich with strategy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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