"One morn, a stranger passin' by, Heard Sammy talkin' so, When down he scrambled from his hoss, And off his coat did go. "He sorter kinder shut one eye, And spit into his hand, And put his ugly head one side, And twitched his trowsers' band. "'My boy,' says he, 'it's my belief, Whomever you may be, That I kin make you screech, and smell Pertikler agony.' "'I'm thar,' says Tuscaloosa Sam, And chucked his hat away; 'I'm thar,' says he, and buttoned up As far as buttons may. "He thundered on the stranger's mug, The stranger pounded he; And oh! the way them critters fit Was beautiful to see. "They clinched like two rampageous bears, And then went down a bit; They swore a stream of six-inch oaths And fit, and fit, and fit. "When Sam would try to work away, And on his pegs to git, The stranger'd pull him back; and so, They fit, and fit, and fit! "Then like a pair of lobsters, both Upon the ground were knit, And yet the varmints used their teeth, And fit, and fit, and fit!! "The sun of noon was high above, And hot enough to split, But only riled the fellers more, That fit, and fit, and fit!!! "The stranger snapped at Sammy's nose, And shortened it a bit; And then they both swore awful hard, And fit, and fit, and fit!!!! "The mud it flew, the sky grew dark, And all the litenins lit; But still them critters rolled about, And fit, and fit, and fit!!!!! "First Sam on top, then t'other chap; When one would make a hit, The other'd smell the grass; and so, They fit, and fit, and fit!!!!!! "The night came on, the stars shone out As bright as wimmen's wit; And still them fellers swore and gouged, And fit, and fit, and fit!!!!!!! "The neighbors heard the noise they made, And thought an earthquake lit; Yet all the while 'twas him and Sam As fit, and fit, and fit!!!!!!!! "For miles around the noise was heard; Folks couldn't sleep a bit, Because them two rantankerous chaps Still fit, and fit, and fit!!!!!!!!! "But jist at cock-crow, suddently, There came an awful pause, And I and my old man run out To ascertain the cause. "The sun was rising in the yeast, And lit the hull concern; But not a sign of either chap Was found at any turn. "Yet, in the region where they fit, We found, to our surprise, One pint of buttons, two big knives, Some whiskers, and four eyes!" There's dramatic genius for you, my boy, and you will join me in raining a pint or so of tears in memory of one who perished because his mind had nothing to feed upon, and who left his bottle very empty.