"May it please your highness, as I live but to obey you, all that has
occurred in my eventful life shall, if you command it, be submitted to
your ear. It will, however, be necessary that I should revert to my
early days to enable your highness more fully to comprehend the whole."
"Aferin! well said," replied the pacha; "I don't care how long a story
it is, provided that it is a good one:" and Selim having obeyed a sign
from his highness, intimating that he might sit down, commenced as
follows:--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
HUCKABACK.
I am a native of Marseilles, your highness, where I was brought up to
the profession of my father; a profession (continued the wily renegade)
which, I have no hesitation to assert, has produced more men of general
information, and more men of talent, than any other--I mean that of a
barber.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Wallah thaib; well said by Allah!" observed Mustapha.
The pacha nodded his approbation; and the renegade proceeded with his
story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was gifted by nature with a ready invention, and some trouble and
expense were bestowed upon my education. To the profession of a barber
my father added that of bleeding and tooth-drawing. At ten years old I
could cut hair pretty well. People did say, that those upon whom I had
operated, looked as if their heads had been gnawed by the rats; but it
was the remark of envy; and, as my father observed, "there must be a
beginning to every thing."
At fifteen, I entered upon the rudiments of shaving; and after having
nearly ruined my father's credit, from the pounds of flesh which I
removed with the hair of my customers, who were again consoled by his
observing, that "there must be a beginning to every thing," I became
quite expert. I was subsequently initiated into the higher branches of
tooth-drawing and bleeding. In the former, at first I gave great
dissatisfaction, either from breaking the decayed tooth short off, and
leaving the stump in the socket, or from mistaking the one pointed out,
and drawing a sound engine of mastication in its stead. In the latter,
I made more serious mistakes, having more than once cut so deep as to
open the artery, while I missed the vein; in consequence of which I was
never afterwards employed, except by a husband to relieve a scolding
wife, or by nephews who were anxious about the health of an everlasting
uncle. But, as my father wisely observed, "there must be a beginning to
every thing;" and, as I could only practise upon living subjects,
"individuals must suffer for the good of the community at large." At
the age of twenty I was an accomplished barber.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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