The Parent's Assistant; Or, Stories for ChildrenEdgeworth, Maria
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The Parent's Assistant; Or, Stories for Children
Edgeworth, Maria
Children's stories; Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction
_Talb._ Thanks, good farmer, you have set my heart at ease, indeed. But
the truth is, they did frighten me confoundedly—more fool I.
_Farm._ No fool at all, to my notion. I should, at your age, ay, or at
my age, just the self-same way have been frightened myself, if so be that
mention had been made to me, that way, of my own mother’s having broke
her leg or so. And greater, by a great deal, the shame for them that
frighted you, than for you to be frighted. How young gentlemen, now, can
bring themselves for to tell such lies, is to me, now, a matter of
amazement, like, that I can’t noways get over.
_Talb._ Oh, farmer, such lies are very witty, though you and I don’t
just now like the wit of them. This is fun, this is quizzing; but you
don’t know what we young gentlemen mean by quizzing.
_Farm._ Ay, but I do though, to my cost, ever since last year. Look
you, now, at yon fine field of wheat. Well, it was just as fine, and
finer, last year, till a young Eton jackanapes—
_Talb._ Take care what you say, farmer; for I am a young Eton
jackanapes.
_Farm._ No; but you be not the young Eton jackanapes that I’m a-thinking
on. I tell you it was this time last year, man; he was a-horseback, I
tell ye, mounted upon a fine bay hunter, out a-hunting, like.
_Talb._ I tell you it was this time last year, man, that I was mounted
upon a fine bay hunter, out a-hunting.
_Farm._ Zooks! would you argufy a man out of his wits? You won’t go for
to tell me that you are that impertinent little jackanapes!
_Talb._ No! no! I’ll not tell you that I am an impertinent little
jackanapes!
_Farm._ (_wiping his forehead_). Well, don’t then, for I can’t believe
it; and you put me out. Where was I?
_Talb._ Mounted upon a fine bay hunter.
_Farm._ Ay, so he was. “Here, _you_,” says he, meaning me—“open this
gate for me.” Now, if he had but a-spoke me fair, I would not have
gainsaid him: but he falls to swearing, so I bid him open the gate for
himself. “There’s a bull behind you, farmer,” says he. I turns.
“Quizzed him!” cries my jackanapes, and off he gallops him, through the
very thick of my corn; but he got a fall, leaping the ditch out yonder,
which pacified me, like, at the minute. So I goes up to see whether he
was killed; but he was not a whit the worse for his tumble. So I should
ha’ fell into a passion with him then, to be sure, about my corn; but his
horse had got such a terrible sprain, I couldn’t say anything to him; for
I was a-pitying the poor animal. As fine a hunter as ever you saw! I am
sartain sure he could never come to good after.
_Talb._ (_aside_). I do think, from the description, that this was
Wheeler; and I have paid for the horse which he spoiled! (_Aloud_.)
Should you know either the man or the horse again, if you were to see
them?
_Farm._ Ay, that I should, to my dying day.
_Talb._ Will you come with me, then, and you’ll do me some guineas’
worth of service?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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