The Parent's Assistant; Or, Stories for ChildrenEdgeworth, Maria
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The Parent's Assistant; Or, Stories for Children
Edgeworth, Maria
Children's stories; Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction
_Just._ Pshaw! pshaw! pshaw!—it is not melted, child—it is the same as
no sugar.—Oh, my foot, girl, my foot!—you kill me. Go, go, I’m busy.
I’ve business to do. Go and send William to me; do you hear, love?
_Lucy_. And the old man, papa?
_Just._ What old man? I tell you what, I’ve been plagued ever since I
was awake, and before I was awake, about that old man. If he can’t wait,
let him go about his business. Don’t you know, child, I never see
anybody till I’ve drunk my chocolate; and I never will, if it were a
duke—that’s poz! Why, it has but just struck twelve; if he can’t wait,
he can go about his business, can’t he?
_Lucy_. Oh, sir, he can wait. It was not he who was impatient. (She
comes back playfully.) It was only I, papa; don’t be angry.
_Just._ Well, well, well (_finishing his cup of chocolate_, _and pushing
his dish away_); and at anyrate there was not sugar enough. Send
William, send William, child; and I’ll finish my own business, and then—
(_Exit Lucy_, _dancing_, “_And then_!—_and then_!”)
JUSTICE, _alone_.
_Just._ Oh, this foot of mine!—(_twinges_)—Oh, this foot! Ay, if Dr.
Sparerib could cure one of the gout, then, indeed, I should think
something of him; but, as to my leaving off my bottle of port, it’s
nonsense; it’s all nonsense; I can’t do it; I can’t, and won’t, for all
the Dr. Spareribs in Christendom; that’s poz!
_Enter_ WILLIAM.
_Just._ William—oh! ay! hey! what answer, pray, did you bring from the
“Saracen’s Head”? Did you see Mrs. Bustle herself, as I bid you?
_Will._ Yes, sir, I saw the landlady herself; she said she would come up
immediately, sir.
_Just._ Ah, that’s well—immediately?
_Will._ Yes, sir, and I hear her voice below now.
_Just._ Oh, show her up; show Mrs. Bustle in.
_Enter_ MRS. BUSTLE, _the landlady of the_ “_Saracen’s Head_.”
_Land._ Good morrow to your worship! I’m glad to see your worship look
so purely. I came up with all speed (_taking breath_). Our pie is in
the oven; that was what you sent for me about, I take it.
_Just._ True; true; sit down, good Mrs. Bustle, pray—
_Land._ Oh, your worship’s always very good (_settling her apron_). I
came up just as I was—only threw my shawl over me. I thought your
worship would excuse—I’m quite, as it were, rejoiced to see your worship
look so purely, and to find you up so hearty—
_Just._ Oh, I’m very hearty (_coughing_), always hearty, and thankful
for it. I hope to see many Christmas doings yet, Mrs. Bustle. And so
our pie is in the oven, I think you say?
_Land._ In the oven it is. I put it in with my own hands; and if we
have but good luck in the baking, it will be as pretty a goose-pie—though
I say it that should not say it—as pretty a goose-pie as ever your
worship set your eyes upon.
_Just._ Will you take a glass of anything this morning, Mrs. Bustle?—I
have some nice usquebaugh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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