The Paris Sketch Book of Mr. M. A. Titmarsh; and the Irish Sketch BookThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Paris Sketch Book of Mr. M. A. Titmarsh; and the Irish Sketch Book
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Ireland -- Description and travel; Paris (France) -- Description and travel
Acting on these principles, Robert appears soon after; he has not
created a bank, but a journal. He sits in a chair of state, and
discourses to a shareholder. Bertrand, calm and stupid as before, stands
humbly behind. ‘Sir,’ says the editor of _La Blague_, journal
quotidienne, ‘our profits arise from a new combination. The journal
costs twenty francs; we sell it for twenty-three and a-half. A million
subscribers make three millions and a-half of profits; there are my
figures; contradict me by figures, or I will bring an action for libel.’
The reader may fancy the scene takes place in England, where many such a
swindling prospectus has obtained credit ere now. At Plate 33, Robert is
still a journalist; he brings to the editor of a paper an article of his
composition, a violent attack on a law. ‘My dear M. Macaire,’ says the
editor, ‘this must be changed; we must _praise_ this law.’ ‘Bon, bon!’
says our versatile Macaire. ‘Je vais retoucher ça, et je vous fais en
faveur de la loi _un article mousseux_.’
Can such things be? Is it possible that French journalists can so forget
themselves? The rogues! they should come to England and learn
consistency. The honesty of the Press in England is like the air we
breathe, without it we die. No, no! in France the satire may do very
well; but for England it is too monstrous. Call the Press stupid, call
it vulgar, call it violent,--but honest it _is_. Who ever heard of a
journal changing its politics? _O tempora! O mores!_ as Robert Macaire
says, this would be carrying the joke too far.
When he has done with newspapers, Robert Macaire begins to distinguish
himself on ‘Change,[7] as a creator of companies, a vendor of shares, or
a dabbler in foreign stock. ‘Buy my coal-mine shares,’ shouts Robert;
‘gold mines, silver mines, diamond mines, “sont de la pot-bouille, de la
ratatouille en comparaison de ma houille.”’ ‘Look,’ says he, on another
occasion, to a very timid open-countenanced client, ‘you have a property
to sell! I have found the very man, a rich capitalist, a fellow whose
bills are better than bank-notes.’ His client sells; the bills are taken
in payment, and signed by that respectable capitalist, Monsieur de Saint
Bertrand. At Plate 81, we find him inditing a circular letter to all the
world, running thus:--‘Sir,--I regret to say that your application for
shares in the Consolidated European Incombustible Blacking Association
cannot be complied with, as all the shares of the C.E.I.B.A. were
disposed of on the day they were issued. I have, nevertheless,
registered your name, and in case a second series should be put forth, I
shall have the honour of immediately giving you notice. I am, sir,
yours, etc., the Director, ROBERT MACAIRE.’--‘Print three hundred
thousand of these,’ he says to Bertrand, ‘and poison all France with
them.’ As usual, the stupid Bertrand remonstrates--‘But we have not sold
a single share; you have not a penny in your pocket, and----’
‘Bertrand, you are an ass; do as I bid you.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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