Americans -- England -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
Prowling about from square to square, through deserted alleys, and by
slumbering parks, he would feel the cumulative destinies of the
millions of sleeping souls bearing on his consciousness. Solitude in a
metropolis, unlike that of the country, which merely lulls or tends to
the purifying of thought, intensifies the moods of a man like strong
liquor. He who lives alone among millions courts all the mad fancies
that his brain is heir to. Insanity, perversion, incoherent idealism,
fanaticism--these are the offspring of unnatural detachment from one's
fellows, and in turn give birth to the black moods of revolt against
each and every thing that is.
Living as he did in a sort of ecstasy by reason of his suddenly
realised world-citizenship, Selwyn's incipient feeling of godlikeness
developed still further under the spell of isolation. The fact that he
trod the realm of thought, while all around him men and women grappled
with the problems of war, only accentuated this condition of mind.
He suffered--that was true. He missed the companionship of kindred
spirits, and sometimes his memory would play truant, recalling the
pleasant glitter of sterling silver and conversational electroplate
which accompanied his former London dinner-parties. He did not dare to
think of Elise at all. She was the intoxicating climax of his past
life. She was the blending of his life's melodies into a brief, tender
nocturne of love that his heart would never hear again.
In place of all that, he had the spiritual vanity of martyrdom. Few
voyagers but have felt the exultation of mid-ocean: that desire of the
soul to leap the distance to the skies and claim its kinship to the
stars. It comes to men on the Canadian prairies; it throbs in one's
blood when the summit of a mountain is reached; it is borne on the
wings of the twilight harmonies in a lonely forest.
Unknown to himself, perhaps, that was Selwyn's compensation. From his
hermit's seclusion in the great metropolis he felt the thrill of one
who challenges the gods.
II.
His man-servant had hardly left the room when the bell in the front
hall rang, and Smith reappeared to announce a visitor.
'Who is it?' asked Selwyn.
'A Mr. Watson, sir.'
'I wonder if it can be Doug Watson of Cambridge. Bring him right up.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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