England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Health resorts -- Fiction
At last footsteps shuffled over the stone-paved floor within. A small
panel slid away from a grating and a voice of that peculiar unctuous
hoarseness only heard in a prodigiously fat man or woman, inquired his
name.
"I want to see you, old Mother Mawhood."
"Love o'maids!" said the fat voice, "'tis Fancy Vernon, or I'm not a fat
old sinner."
The bolts were pushed back, the latch clicked, the door swung open, and
Mrs. Mawhood, whose bulk, but little reduced by Newgate fare, was soon
to test severely the three-legged tenement, occupied the portal.
Take a good look at Mrs. Mawhood, while with pursy greetings she makes
Fancy Vernon welcome. She is like an idol in a cavernous East Indian
temple, or a giant toadstool, or weight of unbaked dough, or in fact
anything that is slow, sleepy, and horrible. Almost buried in folds of
flesh is a pair of beady black eyes, as steady and wicked as those of a
puff-adder or seaman's parroquet. She is dressed in black, and her nails
are bitten to the quick.
Mr. Vernon was probably less narrow-minded than the mob which howled at
her infamy during the Tyburn journey. At any rate he chatted with her
amicably enough on this grey February forenoon.
"How's business, ma'am?" he asked.
"Very bad," she wheezed. "Only three of 'em upstairs and none of 'em
real quality. Still, the flowers in the garden vant fresh food,
especially the blood-red toolips. Ah! it was two lips that was the
undoin' of the hussies, and, 'tis fair they should profit by the
harvest."
This devilish joke was followed by a low rumbling chuckle echoed above
by a thin wail.
Mrs. Mawhood waddled to the foot of the stairs.
"Keep that d----d brat quiet, you charity bastard," she wheezed
angrily. "She'll hev to get up to-morrow," she continued, seating
herself in a wide arm-chair beside the empty grate, "and a sickly puling
jade she is. I suppose you've come for the Main?"
"No," answered Vernon, "indeed, I did not know there was to be one. Good
birds?"
Mrs. Mawhood nodded. "Thirty-two cocks and a Velch main. 'Tis some of
those baby gentlemen from the Vells as finks they's seeing life ven a
dozen lousy chairmen sveats thesselves 'oarse over a pair of bleeding
chickens. And ven they's 'ad their pockets picked, they goes 'ome
'appy."
"Is Moll here?" asked Vernon.
"No, Moll's keeping a gay house Catherine Street vay."
"Egad, I've a pretty little job for Moll."
"Now don't you go leading Moll astray. She ain't been in Bridewell not
these two years, and she don't vant to neither."
"This job won't take her there. I'm in need of a housewife for a month,
and Moll's a nice homely woman."
"'Oo's she to look after, eh?"
"A pearl necklace," said Vernon.
"And a pretty neck, eh?"
"Tolerable," said Vernon.
"When do you want her?"
"Let me see--February. Shall we say the last week in March?"
"I'll tell her: I shall be sending a hussy from here presently to a nice
honest sitivation." Again the chuckle was heard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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