England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Health resorts -- Fiction
So he borrowed four hundred guineas from Mr. Antony Clare, who could ill
afford the loan, and putting this sum with what he had earned from
lashing the Curtain Polls in an extra thick paper envelope, he sealed it
with his own heroick seal. This fulfilment of earthly debts he sent up
to Mr. Francis Vernon by the hand of Mr. Daish himself, and set to work
to make his conscience less vulnerable by many consecutive pints of
heroick Burgundy.
You thought that he was going to turn out poor humanity after bullying
Mr. Virgin so heroically? Egad, ma'am or sir, you thought wrong. You
doubt anybody can be a Burgundian hero? So he can; there has been more
than one Charles the Bold of Burgundy.
The very word is as fire to the most pusillanimous: the very thought of
its crimson depths should set us all tilting.
'Bring me a quart bottle of Burgundy.' The phrase is like a trumpet-call
outside the keep of Paradise.
'Bring me another quart of Burgundy.' Down goes the portcullis before
the hero's charge.
Port may turn a man into a hero--in his dreams; yet I doubt they are too
heavy. As for Sherry, it will serve to sharpen the wits of a dried-up
attorney, but is poor stuff to weave into heroes. On Champagne, a man
will talk like the crew of the _Argo_, but there's the end of the whole
business.
Charles drank Burgundy and I promise you some fine heroicks presently.
_Chapter the Twenty-third_
SPACE BETWEEN AN HEROICK COUPLET
A discouraging fact for the Persii of yesterday, to-day, and to-morrow,
is that, however needle-sharp their thrusted rapiers, however thorough
their castigations, Society never shows weal or scar at the end of it
all.
Here was profligate, card-playing, snobbish, vapoured Society, quite
recovered of its whipping and, by candletime, setting out to perform,
just those very actions Persius most bitterly abuses.
My lady Bunbutter continued to observe every Matador in her opponents'
hands, continued to rake in ill-gotten guineas, continued to use a
quadrille pack with Manille stained, Spadille nicked, Basto dog-eared,
and Ponto scratched. The Most Honble. the Marchioness of Hurricane
continued to help herself five times to the richest Fricassees;
continued to allow her lap-dog liberty of vomit in alien drawing-rooms,
continued to breathe stertorous bawdry into the prominent ears of her
Italian son-in-law--el Conde di Scirocco--while her daughter the
Contessa snored in a corner.
Young Miss Kitcat continued to encourage the addresses of the
disreputable Captain Mann, and even went so far as to tap that military
scoundrel three times with her fan in coy avowal of his charming
naughtiness.
The Earl of Cinderton drank five bottles of Port that very night in
order to emphasize his indifference to satire, and slept under his own
mahogany table because his lackeys below stairs were too drunk to carry
him to bed.
In fact, nobody save the publisher of Curtain Polls displayed sign or
sense of injury.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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