England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
He switched on the light and saw that she was in bed. He saw her golden
hair straggling forlornly over the pillow. Something in that touched
him, and suspicion, always on guard against the softness of his heart,
struck at him with a sudden stab. She had plotted. She was a schemer.
The forlorn spread of her hair over the pillow was part of the duplicity
of her.
He hardened. He said, very quietly and calmly: "Are you awake, Helen?"
The hair moved and shook itself. "Kenneth!"
"I want to speak to you."
"What is it, Kenneth?"
"Did you--?--Look here--" He paused. How could he put it to her? If he
said straight out: "Did you plot with your father to marry me?" she
would, of course, say no. He must be careful. He must try to trap her
without her being aware.
"Look here--did you know that it was due to my father's influence that I
got Lavery's?"
"No, was it? It was good of your father to help you, wasn't it?"
Stupid little fool! he thought. (Good God, that was nearly what his
father had said she was!)
He said: "He meant it kindly, no doubt. But you didn't know?"
"How should I know?"
"I thought perhaps your father might have told you."
"I was never interested in his business."
Pause. A sudden sharp wave of irritation made him continue:
"I say, Helen, you might remember whom you're talking to when you're at
dinner. The Lord Randolph you were saying the uncomplimentary things
about happens to be the cousin of the lady sitting on your left."
"Really? Oh, I'm so sorry, Kenneth. I didn't know. D'you think she'd be
offended?"
"I shouldn't think she'd trouble very much about your opinion, but the
publicity which you gave to it would probably annoy her a little."
She suddenly hid her head in her arms and burst into tears.
"Oh, Kenneth--let's go away to-morrow! Let's go back to Millstead! Oh, I
can't bear this any more--I've been miserable ever since I came. I told
you it would all go wrong, Kenneth!--Kenneth, I _have_ tried, but it's no
good--I can't be happy!--Take me away to-morrow, Kenneth. Kenneth, if
you don't I shall run away myself--I simply can't bear any more of it.
You've hated me ever since you came here, because I don't make you feel
proud of me. Oh, I _wish_ I did--I _do_ wish I could! But I've tried so
many times--I've made myself sick with trying--and now that I know it's no
good, let me go back to Millstead where I can give up trying for a
while. Kenneth, be kind to me--I can't help it--I can't help not being
all that you want me to be!"
She held out her arms for him to have taken hold of, but he stood aside.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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