England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
He strolled round the town, bought a morning paper at the news agent's,
and pretended to be interested in the contents. Over him like a sultry
shadow lay the disagreeable paraphernalia of the immediate future:
doctors, coroner, inquest, lawyers, interviews with Doctor and Mrs.
Ervine, and so on. It had all to be gone through, but for the present he
would try to forget it. The turmoil of his own mind, that battle which
was being waged within his inmost self, that strife which no coroner
would guess, those secrets which no inquest would or could elicit; these
were the things of greater import. In the High Street, leading up from
the Pierhead, he saw half a dozen stalwart navvies swinging
sledge-hammers into the concrete road-bed. He stopped, ostensibly to
wait for a tram, but really to watch them. He envied them, passionately;
envied their strength and animal simplicity; envied above all their lack
of education and ignorance of themselves, their happy blindness along
the path of life. He wished he could forget such things as Art and
Culture and Education, and could become as they, or as he imagined them
to be. Their lives were brimful of _real_ things, things to be held and
touched--hammers and levers and slabs of concrete. With all their crude
joy and all their pain, simple and physical, their souls grew strong and
stark. He envied them with a passion that made him desist at last from
the sight of them, because it hurt.
The town-hall clock began the hour of noon, and that reminded him of
Clare, and of the overwhelming fact that she was at that moment in the
train hastening to Seacliffe. Was he thinking of her again? He went into
a café and ordered in desperation a pot of China tea and some bread and
butter, as if the mere routine of a meal would rid his mind of her. For
desire was with him still, nor could he stave it off. Nothing that he
could ever discover, however ugly or terrible, could stop the craving of
him for Clare. The things that they had begun together, he and she, had
no ending in this world. And suddenly all sense of free-will left him,
and he felt himself propelled at a mighty rate towards her, wherever she
might be; fate, surely, guiding him to her, but this time, a fate that
was urging him from within, not pressing him from without. And he knew,
secretly, whatever indignant protests he might make to himself about it,
that when the 1:15 train entered Seacliffe station he would be waiting
there on the platform for her. The thing was inevitable, like death.
But inevitability did not spare him torment. And at last his remorse
insisted upon a compromise. He would meet Clare, he decided, but when he
had met her, he would proceed to torture her, subtly, shrewdly--seeking
vengeance for the tragedy that she had brought to his life, and the
spell that she had cast upon his soul. He would be the Grand Inquisitor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account