As the days went by her need of somebody to talk to, her dread of being
alone with her imagination and its flashes, became altogether
intolerable. She went at last, driven by panic, to the village mothers,
asking anxious questions about how they had felt, how they had managed,
going round on days when she was better to the cottages where families
were longest. But nothing came of this; the attitude everywhere was a
dull acceptance, a shrug of the shoulder, a tiredness.
Then she sought out the postman's wife, who looked particularly motherly
and bright, and found that she was childless.
Then she met the forester one day in the woods, and was so far gone in
need that she almost began to ask him her anxious questions, for he
looked more motherly even than the postman's wife.
Then she thought of Baroness Glambeck, who before Robertlet's birth had
been helpful in practical ways--would she not be helpful now in these
spiritual stresses?--and she walked over there with difficulty one
afternoon in November through the deep wet sand, approaching her as one
naked soul delivered by its urgencies from the web of reticence and
convention approaches another. But nothing could be less naked that day
than the Baroness's soul. It was dressed even to gloves and a bonnet. It
had no urgencies; and Hildebrand von Glambeck was there, the only son in
the family of six, the member of it who had married most money, and his
mother was proudly pouring out coffee for him in festal silk.
It was entirely contrary to custom for one's pastor's wife to walk in
without having first inquired whether her visit would be acceptable; and
when the Baroness perceived the sandy and disordered figure coming
towards her down the long room she was not only annoyed but dismayed.
She had not seen this dearest of her children for six months, and it was
the first opportunity she had had since his arrival the evening before
of being alone with him, for he had brought a friend with him from
Berlin, and not till after luncheon had the friend, who painted, been
satisfactorily disposed of out of doors in the park, where he announced
his intention of staying as long as the sun stayed on a certain
beech-tree. She wanted to ask her boy questions. She had sent the Baron
out riding round his farms so as to be able to ask questions. She wanted
to know about his life in Berlin, to her so remote and so full of
drawbacks that yet glittered, a high, dangerous, less truly aristocratic
life than this of lofty stagnation in God's provinces, but shone upon
after all by the presence of her Emperor and King. In her heart she
believed that the Almighty had also some years ago, probably about the
time of her marriage when she, too, retired into them, withdrawn into
the provinces, and there particularly presided over those best of the
Fatherland's nobles who stayed with a pure persistency in the places
where they happened to have been born. On His departure for the country,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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