Herr Dremmel continued writing. He was, to all appearances, absorbed;
and his forehead, that hot afternoon, was covered with the drops of
concentration.
"Robert," she said at last again, in a voice that shook however hard she
tried to keep it steady, "here I am."
Herr Dremmel finished his sentence. Then he raised his head and looked
at her.
Staring back at him in misery and fear, and yet beside the fear with a
dreadful courage, she recognised the look. It was the look he had when
he was collecting his attention, bringing it up from distant deep places
to the surface, to herself. How strange that he should at this moment
have to collect it, that it did not instantly spring at her, that she
and the havoc she had brought into his life should not be soaked into
every part of his consciousness!
"What did you say, Ingeborg?" he said, looking at her with that so
recognisable look.
For all her study of him she felt she did not yet know Robert.
"I only said," she stammered, "that I--that here--that here I _was_."
He looked at her for a further space of silence. Then it flashed upon
her that he was, dreadfully, pretending. He was acting. He was going to
torment her before punishing her. He was going to be slowly cruel.
Herr Dremmel, as though he were gathering himself together--gathering
himself, she thought watching him and growing cold at his uncanniness,
for a horrible spring--inquired of her if she had walked.
"Yes," said Ingeborg even more faintly, her eyes full of watchful fear.
He continued to look at her, but his hand while he did so felt about on
the table for the pen he had laid down.
She recognized this look, too--amazing, horrible, how he could act--it
was the one he had when, talking to somebody, a new illumination of the
subject he was writing about came into his mind.
She felt sure now that the worst was going to happen to her; but first
there was to be torture, a long playing about. These revealed depths of
cunning cruelty in him, of talent for cleverest acting, froze her blood.
Where was Robert, the man of large simplicities she believed she had
known? It was a strange man, then, she had been living with? He had
never, through all the years, been the one she thought she had married.
"Please--" she said, holding out both her hands, "Robert--don't. Won't
you--won't you be natural?"
He still looked at her in silence. Then he said with a sudden air of
remembering, "Did you get your boots, Ingeborg?"
This was dreadful. That he should even talk about the boots! Throw in
her face that paltry preliminary lying.
"You _know_ I didn't," she said, tears of shame for him that he could be
so cruel coming into her eyes.
Again Herr Dremmel looked at her as though collecting, as though
endeavouring to remember and to find.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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