"What ought the Little One to have had more of?" asked Herr Dremmel; for
his thoughts had not much time to spare, and he profitably employed them
while she talked in working out the probable results of, say, the
treatment of three acres of sugar-beet with sulphate of potash, sulphate
of ammonia, and nitrate of soda respectively, all of them receiving 400
lbs. of basic slag as well--would not sulphate of ammonia be more
effective as a nitrogenous manure than nitrate of soda in the case of
sugar-beets, whose roots grew smaller and nearer the surface than
mangels? "That is what little women should constantly have more of," he
said, breaking away from sugar-beets to a zestful embracing; for on this
occasion they were under the pear-tree, a place she seldom went to
because she had not yet acquired, in spite of his assurances that she
undoubtedly would, any real enthusiasm for embracings, keeping by
preference to the only immune place in the garden, which was the middle
of the lawn.
"I wonder," she thought while it was being done, "if this will really
grow on me...."
And, while it was still being done, "Mother must have been kissed, too,
and she's still alive...."
And presently, while it was still being done, "But mother isn't _much_
alive--there's the sofa--perhaps that's why...."
Well, he loved her, somehow; she did not now care how. Whether it was a
spiritual affection or one that would go on requiring at frequent
intervals to enfold her capaciously did not matter any more, for it was
a warm thing, a warm human thing, he was offering her, and she had been
half-dead with cold. What did it matter if she herself was not in love?
It was the dream of a schoolgirl to want to be in love. Life was not
like that. Life was a thing full of friendliness and happy affection;
and love, anyhow on the woman's side, was not a bit necessary. The
Bishop would have been surprised if he had known how nearly she
approached his ideal of womanhood. She was going to be so good, she said
to herself and to Herr Dremmel, too, her heart full of gratitude and
glad relief--oh, so good! She was never going to be dejected or beaten
out of hope and courage again. She would work over there, work hard at
all sorts of happy things in the parish, and among the poor and sick,
and she would help Robert in his work if he would let her, and if he
wouldn't then she'd help him when he had done--help him to play and
rest. They would laugh together and talk together and walk together, and
he would explain his experiments to her and teach her to understand. And
the first thing she would do would be to learn German very thoroughly,
so as to be able to write all his letters for him, and even his sermons
if needs be, and save his precious time.
"Those," said Herr Dremmel, who in the lush meadows of dalliance had
forgotten that what had first attracted him to her had been a certain
bright baldness of brain, "would be pretty little nonsense sermons the
small snail would produce."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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