India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
The irony of his own anticipations struck Gerrard forcibly after a
fortnight or so principally spent in talking about Charteris. Outside
the air was filled with wars and rumours of wars, with reports that the
Granthi army was moving on Ranjitgarh, or that this or the other Sirdar
was about to cut the communications with Agpur, and in the society of
James Antony and his intimates these were the topics that everybody
discussed. But spending the mid-day hours in the damp heat of the
drawing-room, where paper grew mouldy and the covers peeled off books,
under the influence of the rains, with Mrs Antony occupied at a discreet
distance with reading or letter-writing, Gerrard endured what would have
been martyrdom but for the bitter-sweet sense of Honour's
presence--possessing which he could not be wholly miserable. Continually
there forced itself on him the change in her since the days when they had
lamented together the supposed death of Charteris. She was restless,
prone to a curious impatience, and the literary interests which had first
drawn them together satisfied her no more. Only one explanation could
fit the facts. Bob Charteris was not literary in his tastes, and Honour,
with her heart awakened, had learnt to know that life was more than books.
As the time approached for Gerrard's return to active service, it struck
him that she had perceived her unconscious cruelty, and was endeavouring
to atone for it. He loved her the better for the thought, though it made
him all the more miserable, since the tenderness in her voice, the tears
he sometimes surprised in her eyes, must spring from a pity that was not
at all akin to love. No doubt, too, she was thinking of Charteris,
keeping the field in the rains, and extensively abused on all sides as
the cause of the war, and Gerrard would have liked to assure her that he
understood, and to prophesy a general revulsion of feeling when the Agpur
business had been brought to a successful conclusion. But apparently
sympathy was at a discount with Honour, for the slightest attempt to
approach the subject--even an honest effort to assure her that Bob's
safety should be his first care in the future, for her sake--brought back
at once the sense of constraint, and made her manner hard and impatient,
not to say snappish. Their final parting took place in public, but this
was Gerrard's own fault, for he could not trust himself alone with her.
He might have been a weak fool to hang about her for so long, but to
offer himself as a bearer of tender messages for Charteris was beyond
him. She was very pale, and seemed to find difficulty in speaking, and
he guessed at once that she was envying him his good fortune in seeing
her lover so soon. But his selfishness in refusing to volunteer as a
messenger was rightly punished, for Mrs Jardine, who had seen fit to
appear at the Residency to borrow a fancy-work pattern from Mrs Antony,
just as he was about to start, was not minded to leave things longer in
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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