Aristocracy (Social class) -- Fiction; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
It was not till the morning of polling day itself that Courtier
left Monkland Court. He had already suffered for some time from bad
conscience. For his knee was practically cured, and he knew well that
it was Barbara, and Barbara alone, who kept him staying there.
The atmosphere of that big house with its army of servants, the
impossibility of doing anything for himself, and the feeling of hopeless
insulation from the vivid and necessitous sides of life, galled him
greatly. He felt a very genuine pity for these people who seemed to lead
an existence as it were smothered under their own social importance. It
was not their fault. He recognized that they did their best. They were
good specimens of their kind; neither soft nor luxurious, as things
went in a degenerate and extravagant age; they evidently tried to be
simple—and this seemed to him to heighten the pathos of their situation.
Fate had been too much for them. What human spirit could emerge
untrammelled and unshrunken from that great encompassing host of
material advantage? To a Bedouin like Courtier, it was as though a
subtle, but very terrible tragedy was all the time being played before
his eyes; and in, the very centre of this tragedy was the girl who so
greatly attracted him. Every night when he retired to that lofty room,
which smelt so good, and where, without ostentation, everything was so
perfectly ordered for his comfort, he thought:
“My God, to-morrow I'll be off!”
But every morning when he met her at breakfast his thought was precisely
the same, and there were moments when he caught himself wondering: “Am
I falling under the spell of this existence—am I getting soft?” He
recognized as never before that the peculiar artificial 'hardness' of
the patrician was a brine or pickle, in which, with the instinct of
self-preservation they deliberately soaked themselves, to prevent the
decay of their overprotected fibre. He perceived it even in Barbara—a
sort of sentiment-proof overall, a species of mistrust of the emotional
or lyrical, a kind of contempt of sympathy and feeling. And every day
he was more and more tempted to lay rude hands on this garment; to see
whether he could not make her catch fire, and flare up with some emotion
or idea. In spite of her tantalizing, youthful self-possession, he saw
that she felt this longing in him, and now and then he caught a glimpse
of a streak of recklessness in her which lured him on:
And yet, when at last he was saying good-bye on the night before polling
day, he could not flatter himself that he had really struck any spark
from her. Certainly she gave him no chance, at that final interview, but
stood amongst the other women, calm and smiling, as if determined that
he should not again mock her with his ironical devotion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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