London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Why had this woman come into his life? She had given him a supreme joy,
the like of which he had never even dreamed of before; but might not
that joy be too dearly purchased with the price of the contingent agony
her love might bring him?
One evening he went down the village street, down through the gap to the
edge of the sea, where the tumbling waves were bursting with sullen roar
and crash upon the shingle. The storm that had raged all the day and the
previous night was dying away, slowly, as if reluctant; the wind blew in
fitful gusts; the clouds scurried across the moon, which shot down
intermittent beams upon the tossing waters. His life, he thought, had
hitherto been calm; but now a tempest raged within him, rising in
strength day by day, hour by hour, so that there was but one thing in
his being—love of Marian, that first, that last, that all in all. Away
from the thought of her and his passion for her he could never tear
himself; it was always with him. When he painted, there was her face
before him, dim but insistent. Something of her features seemed to creep
even into the portrait he was painting of Agatha West. When he read, the
words conveyed no thought, no sense to his mind; he was thinking of her,
wondering where she was and what she was doing, with whom if not alone.
She possessed him, heart, soul and body; he was all hers.
More than once a frenzy of jealousy had attacked him: did she truly love
him? Or was she just play-acting, fooling him, deceiving him, betraying
him, laughing at him and his blind love? The impulse came on him
strongly to go up to town, without warning her, and to watch—watch,
unseen. But he dared not; in such a case, he thought, ignorance would be
bliss compared with knowledge.
At last dawned the wished-for day on which Marian was to come. He had
lain tossing awake all the night. Hours yet remained to be gotten
through somehow before he could set out to walk to the station. After
breakfast at nine, he set about tidying the studio, filling the vases
with flowers, and setting “The Rebel” in a place of honor by the window.
Then in the sitting room he cleared up the litter of pipes and books,
and helped to decorate the table for luncheon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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