She was smarting with humiliation. She had offered Micky her little
olive branch when they parted two days ago at Charing Cross, and this
is how he had accepted it!
"If he's trying to pay me out, I suppose it's only what I deserve,"
she thought miserably, and yet it did not seem like Micky to
deliberately try or wish to hurt or humiliate any one.
She did her best to push the shadow aside. She tried to laugh and talk
with June as they went off to meet Mr. George P. Rochester.
He was a big, bluff man, with a hand-clasp like the grip of a bear,
and a twang that could be cut with a knife.
They lunched at a restaurant which she had never even heard of, though
June seemed quite at home. There were several people at other tables,
whom June knew, and Esther felt very out of it all, and unhappy.
It was a good thing she had refused to marry Micky, she thought with a
sort of anger. She knew none of his friends and nothing of the life to
which he had always been accustomed. She did not realise that it was
the knowledge of her shabby coat that was affecting her spirits more
keenly than anything.
June's clothes were not new, but they had an unmistakable "cut" about
them, and Rochester was exceedingly well dressed.
He talked to June a great deal. Once or twice he tried to draw Esther
into the conversation, but, seeing that she wished to be let alone, he
soon gave up the attempt.
He was certainly a most friendly person--one would have thought that
he and June had known one another for years. Before lunch was ended he
had invited himself to tea for the following afternoon.
"That's Yankee push if you like!" June said when he had gone. "Give me
a Yankee every time to make things go!" She looked at Esther
excitedly. "Do you know," she said, "I've a great mind to try and
persuade that man to come into partnership with me."
Esther laughed.
"I should say he'd suggest it himself if you give him another day or
two," she said drily. She wandered listlessly round the room.
"I shall have to leave here at the end of the week," she said
suddenly. "It's impossible to go on living here, and letting you pay
my rent and my food bill. I owe you more than I can ever repay
already."
"If you talk like that I'll--I'll kill you!" said June in a rage. "You
don't understand what friendship means. Micky had tried to teach you,
and so have I, and all you do is to throw it back in our faces.... O
Esther, don't!..."
Esther had turned away and covered her face with her hands.
"I know you think I'm ungrateful and horrid," she said brokenly. "But
how would you like to be in my position? I haven't a shilling of my
own in the world--the things I've been wearing since I came here are
paid for by ... by ... oh, you know! I hate to look at that fur coat
and my new frock. You talk to me about being proud and obstinate;
well, I can't help it, you must go on thinking it, that's all; I'd
rather die than take anything more from any one. I kept myself before,
and I will again...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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