That the others are to be envied, and he to be pitied, there can be no
manner of doubt, but all the same the fact that he is unable to take
part in popular amusements steadfastly remains; and while the matter of
the extra fibre is more or less reassuring, it is not always perfectly
satisfactory, and he then begins to look about for the reason. If to
his power of observation there be added also a receptive mind and an
introspective eye, it will be unnecessary for him to have ever heard of
M. Renan to become gradually aware that he is the victim of a gigantic
swindle. In common with many others, he has somehow imagined that the
world was a broad and fertile plain, with here and there a barren
tract. It is impossible for him to give any reason for this fancy; "In
the world ye shall have tribulation," is the explicit warning of the
Founder of Christianity, and to this warning all creeds, save that of
the early Hellenists, concur. It did not, therefore, come from any
religious teaching, nor, for that matter, from any philosophy. Still
the impression, however vague it may seem when analyzed, has none the
less been with him, as with all others, the reason being simply that he
grew up with it as he may have grown up with fairy tales, and it is not
until his aspirations stumble over facts that he begins to see that
life, instead of being the pleasant land flowing with milk and honey,
which he had imagined, is in reality something entirely different.
These deductions, of course, need not follow because a man finds that
he is more or less indifferent to every form of entertainment, from a
king's revel to a walking-match; but they may follow of any man who has
begun to dislike the propinquity of the average, and to feel that where
the crowd find amusement there will be nothing but weariness and
vexation of spirit for him. Under such circumstances he is an
instinctive pessimist, and one who needs but little theoretic
instruction to learn that he, as all others, has been made use of, and
cheated to boot. The others, it is true, are, generally speaking,
unaware of the deception that has been practiced on them; they have, it
may be, a few faint suspicions that something has gone wrong somewhere,
but even in uttermost depression the untutored look upon their
misfortunes as purely individual, and unshared by the world at large.
Of the universality of suffering, of the fact, as John Stuart Mill has
put it, that there is no happiness for nineteen twentieths of the
world's inhabitants, few have any conception or idea. They look, it may
be, over their garden wall, and, hearing their neighbor grumble, they
think that, being cross-grained and ill-tempered, his life is not one
of unalloyed delight. But their vision extends no further. They do not
see the sorrow that has no words, nor do they hear the silent knell of
irrecoverable though unuttered hopes, "the toil of heart, and knees,
and hands." Of all these things they know nothing; household worries,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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