The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
The Comte de Noce had returned from Coblenz at a time when it was
dangerous for the nobility to be found in France. No one had such
courage and such kindness, such craft and such recklessness as this
aristocrat. Although he was sixty years old he had married a woman of
twenty-five, being compelled to this act of folly by soft-heartedness;
for he thus delivered this poor child from the despotism of a capricious
mother. “Would you like to be my widow?” this amiable old gentleman had
said to Mademoiselle de Pontivy, but his heart was too affectionate not
to become more attached to his wife than a sensible man ought to be.
As in his youth he had been under the influence of several among the
cleverest women in the court of Louis XV, he thought he would have no
difficulty in keeping his wife from any entanglement. What man excepting
him have I ever seen, who could put into successful practice the
teachings which I am endeavoring to give to husbands! What charm
could he impart to life by his delightful manners and fascinating
conversation!--His wife never knew until after his death what she then
learned from me, namely, that he had the gout. He had wisely retired to
a home in the hollow of a valley, close to a forest. God only knows
what rambles he used to take with his wife!--His good star decreed that
Mademoiselle de Pontivy should possess an excellent heart and should
manifest in a high degree that exquisite refinement, that sensitive
modesty which renders beautiful the plainest girl in the world. All of a
sudden, one of his nephews, a good-looking military man, who had escaped
from the disasters of Moscow, returned to his uncle’s house, as much for
the sake of learning how far he had to fear his cousins, as heirs, as in
the hope of laying siege to his aunt. His black hair, his moustache,
the easy small-talk of the staff officer, a certain freedom which was
elegant as well as trifling, his bright eyes, contrasted favorably with
the faded graces of his uncle. I arrived at the precise moment when the
young countess was teaching her newly found relation to play backgammon.
The proverb says that “women never learn this game excepting from their
lovers, and vice versa.” Now, during a certain game, M. de Noce had
surprised his wife and the viscount in the act of exchanging one of
those looks which are full of mingled innocence, fear, and desire. In
the evening he proposed to us a hunting-party, and we agreed. I never
saw him so gay and so eager as he appeared on the following morning, in
spite of the twinges of gout which heralded an approaching attack. The
devil himself could not have been better able to keep up a conversation
on trifling subjects than he was. He had formerly been a musketeer
in the Grays and had known Sophie Arnoud. This explains all. The
conversation after a time became so exceedingly free among us three,
that I hope God may forgive me for it!
“I would never have believed that my uncle was such a dashing blade?”
said the nephew.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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