The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
The count remained. Without paying any attention to the awkwardness
which had succeeded the former military aplomb of his nephew, the
count exercised during the whole evening his full powers as a charming
conversationalist. I had never before seen him so brilliant or so
gracious. We spoke a great deal about women. The witticisms of our host
were marked by the most exquisite refinement. He made me forget that
his hair was white, for he showed the brilliancy which belonged to a
youthful heart, a gaiety which effaces the wrinkles from the cheek and
melts the snow of wintry age.
The next day the nephew went away. Even after the death of M. de Noce, I
tried to profit by the intimacy of those familiar conversations in which
women are sometimes caught off their guard to sound her, but I could
never learn what impertinence the viscount had exhibited towards his
aunt. His insolence must have been excessive, for since that time Madame
de Noce has refused to see her nephew, and up to the present moment
never hears him named without a slight movement of her eyebrows. I did
not at once guess the end at which the Comte de Noce aimed, in inviting
us to go shooting; but I discovered later that he had played a pretty
bold game.
Nevertheless, if you happen at last, like M. de Noce, to carry off a
decisive victory, do not forget to put into practice at once the system
of blisters; and do not for a moment imagine that such _tours de force_
are to be repeated with safety. If that is the way you use your talents,
you will end by losing caste in your wife’s estimation; for she will
demand of you, reasonably enough, double what you would give her, and
the time will come when you declare bankruptcy. The human soul in its
desires follows a sort of arithmetical progression, the end and origin
of which are equally unknown. Just as the opium-eater must constantly
increase his doses in order to obtain the same result, so our mind,
imperious as it is weak, desires that feeling, ideas and objects should
go on ever increasing in size and in intensity. Hence the necessity of
cleverly distributing the interest in a dramatic work, and of graduating
doses in medicine. Thus you see, if you always resort to the employment
of means like these, that you must accommodate such daring measures to
many circumstances, and success will always depend upon the motives to
which you appeal.
And finally, have you influence, powerful friends, an important post?
The last means I shall suggest cuts to the root of the evil. Would you
have the power to send your wife’s lover off by securing his promotion,
or his change of residence by an exchange, if he is a military man? You
cut off by this means all communication between them; later on we will
show you how to do it; for _sublata causa tollitur effectus_,--Latin
words which may be freely translated “there is no effect without a
cause.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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