The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
She it is who will tell you that you are jealous, who will point out to
you that she knows you better than you know yourself, who will prove to
you the uselessness of your artifices and who perhaps will defy you.
She triumphs in the excited consciousness of the superiority which she
thinks she possesses over you; you of course are ennobled in her eyes;
for she finds your conduct quite natural. The only thing she feels is
that your want of confidence was useless; if she wished to betray, who
could hinder her?
Then, some evening, you will burst into a passion, and, as some trifle
affords you a pretext, you will make a scene, in the course of which
your anger will make you divulge the secret of your distress. And here
comes in the promulgation of our new code.
Have no fear that a woman is going to trouble herself about this. She
needs your jealousy, she rather likes your severity. This comes from the
fact that in the first place she finds there a justification for her own
conduct; and then she finds immense satisfaction in playing before other
people the part of a victim. What delightful expressions of sympathy
will she receive! Afterwards she will use this as a weapon against you,
in the expectation thereby of leading you into a pitfall.
She sees in your conduct the source of a thousand more pleasures in her
future treachery, and her imagination smiles at all the barricades with
which you surround her, for will she not have the delight of surmounting
them all?
Women understand better than we do the art of analyzing the two human
feelings, which alternately form their weapons of attack, or the weapons
of which they are victims. They have the instinct of love, because it is
their whole life, and of jealousy, because it is almost the only
means by which they can control us. Within them jealousy is a genuine
sentiment and springs from the instinct of self-preservation; it is
vital to their life or death. But with men this feeling is absolutely
absurd when it does not subserve some further end.
To entertain feelings of jealousy towards the woman you love, is to
start from a position founded on vicious reasoning. We are loved, or
we are not loved; if a man entertains jealousy under either of these
circumstances, it is a feeling absolutely unprofitable to him; jealousy
may be explained as fear, fear in love. But to doubt one’s wife is to
doubt one’s self.
To be jealous is to exhibit, at once, the height of egotism, the error
of _amour-propre_, the vexation of morbid vanity. Women rather encourage
this ridiculous feeling, because by means of it they can obtain cashmere
shawls, silver toilet sets, diamonds, which for them mark the high
thermometer mark of their power. Moreover, unless you appear blinded by
jealousy, your wife will not keep on her guard; for there is no pitfall
which she does not distrust, excepting that which she makes for herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account