The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
On a certain evening a poor husband was kept at home by a pouring rain,
or tired, perhaps, of going to spend his evening in play, at the cafe,
or in the world, and sick of all this he felt himself carried away by an
impulse to follow his wife to the conjugal chamber. There he sank into
an arm-chair and like any sultan awaited his coffee, as if he would say:
“Well, after all, she is my wife!”
The fair siren herself prepares the favorite draught; she strains it
with special care, sweetens it, tastes it, and hands it to him; then,
with a smile, she ventures like a submissive odalisque to make a joke,
with a view to smoothing the wrinkles on the brow of her lord and
master. Up to that moment he had thought his wife stupid; but on hearing
a sally as witty as that which even you would cajole with, madame, he
raises his head in the way peculiar to dogs who are hunting the hare.
“Where the devil did she get that--but it’s a random shot!” he says to
himself.
From the pinnacle of his own greatness he makes a piquant repartee.
Madame retorts, the conversation becomes as lively as it is interesting,
and this husband, a very superior man, is quite astonished to discover
the wit of his wife, in other respects, an accomplished woman; the
right word occurs to her with wonderful readiness; her tact and keenness
enable her to meet an innuendo with charming originality. She is no
longer the same woman. She notices the effect she produces upon her
husband, and both to avenge herself for his neglect and to win his
admiration for the lover from whom she has received, so to speak, the
treasures of her intellect, she exerts herself, and becomes actually
dazzling. The husband, better able than any one else to appreciate a
species of compensation which may have some influence on his future, is
led to think that the passions of women are really necessary to their
mental culture.
But how shall we treat those compensations which are most pleasing to
husbands?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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