The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
“Considered as a need,” said the old man, “love makes itself felt last
of all our needs, and is the first to cease. We are inclined to love in
our twentieth year, to speak in round numbers, and we cease to do so at
fifty. During these thirty years, how often would the need be felt, if
it were not for the provocation of city manners, and the modern custom
of living in the presence of not one woman, but of women in general?
What is our debt to the perpetuation of the race? It probably consists
in producing as many children as we have breasts--so that if one
dies the other may live. If these two children were always faithfully
produced, what would become of nations? Thirty millions of people
would constitute a population too great for France, for the soil is
not sufficient to guarantee more than ten millions against misery and
hunger. Remember that China is reduced to the expedient of throwing its
children into the water, according to the accounts of travelers. Now
this production of two children is really the whole of marriage. The
superfluous pleasures of marriage are not only profligate, but involve
an immense loss to the man, as I will now demonstrate. Compare then
with this poverty of result, and shortness of duration, the daily and
perpetual urgency of other needs of our existence. Nature reminds us
every hour of our real needs; and, on the other hand, refuses absolutely
to grant the excess which our imagination sometimes craves in love.
It is, therefore, the last of our needs, and the only one which may be
forgotten without causing any disturbance in the economy of the body.
Love is a social luxury like lace and diamonds. But if we analyze it as
a sentiment, we find two distinct elements in it; namely, pleasure
and passion. Now analyze pleasure. Human affections rest upon two
foundations, attraction and repulsion. Attraction is a universal feeling
for those things which flatter our instinct of self-preservation;
repulsion is the exercise of the same instinct when it tells us that
something is near which threatens it with injury. Everything which
profoundly moves our organization gives us a deeper sense of our
existence; such a thing is pleasure. It is contracted of desire, of
effort, and the joy of possessing something or other. Pleasure is a
unique element in life, and our passions are nothing but modifications,
more or less keen, of pleasure; moreover, familiarity with one pleasure
almost always precludes the enjoyment of all others. Now, love is the
least keen and the least durable of our pleasures. In what would you say
the pleasure of love consists? Does it lie in the beauty of the beloved?
In one evening you may obtain for money the loveliest odalisques; but
at the end of a month you will in this way have burnt out all your
sentiment for all time. Would you love a women because she is well
dressed, elegant, rich, keeps a carriage, has commercial credit? Do
not call this love, for it is vanity, avarice, egotism. Do you love her
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