The Physiology of Marriage, Part 3Balzac, Honoré de
Philosophy
The Physiology of Marriage, Part 3
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
*In Lord Abergavenny's suit for divorce, the _valet de chambre_
deposed that "the countess had such a detestation of all that belonged
to my lord that he had very often seen her burning the scraps of paper
which he had touched in her room."
V.
If an indolent woman becomes energetic, if a woman who formerly hated
study learns a foreign language; in short, every appearance of a
complete change in character is a decisive symptom.
VI.
The woman who is happy in her affections does not go much into the
world.
VII.
The woman who has a lover becomes very indulgent in judging others.
VIII.
*A husband gives to his wife a hundred crowns a month for dress; and,
taking everything into account, she spends at least five hundred
francs without being a sou in debt; the husband is robbed every night
with a high hand by escalade, but without burglarious breaking in.
IX.
*A married couple slept in the same bed; madame was always sick. Now
they sleep apart, she has no more headache, and her health becomes
more brilliant than ever; an alarming symptom!
X.
A woman who was a sloven suddenly develops extreme nicety in her
attire. There is a Minotaur at hand!
XI.
"Ah! my dear, I know no greater torment than not to be understood."
"Yes, my dear, but when one is--"
"Oh, that scarcely ever happens."
"I agree with you that it very seldom does. Ah! it is great happiness,
but there are not two people in the world who are able to understand
you."
XII.
*The day when a wife behaves nicely to her husband--all is over.
XIII.
I asked her: "Where have you been, Jeanne?"
"I have been to your friend's to get your plate that you left there."
"Ah, indeed! everything is still mine," I said. The following year I
repeated the question under similar circumstances.
"I have been to bring back our plate."
"Well, well, part of the things are still mine," I said. But after
that, when I questioned her, she spoke very differently.
"You wish to know everything, like great people, and you have only
three shirts. I went to get my plate from my friend's house, where I
had stopped."
"I see," I said, "nothing is left me."
XIV.
Do not trust a woman who talks of her virtue.
XV.
Some one said to the Duchess of Chaulnes, whose life was despaired of:
"The Duke of Chaulnes would like to see you once more."
"Is he there?"
"Yes."
"Let him wait; he shall come in with the sacraments." This minotauric
anecdote has been published by Chamfort, but we quote it here as
typical.
XVI.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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