England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Men -- Societies and clubs -- Fiction
‘You did,’ said Wardle. ‘I saw you do it--I observed you pick him out--I
noticed you, as you raised your piece to take aim; and I will say this,
that the best shot in existence could not have done it more beautifully.
You are an older hand at this than I thought you, Tupman; you have been
out before.’
It was in vain for Mr. Tupman to protest, with a smile of self-denial,
that he never had. The very smile was taken as evidence to the contrary;
and from that time forth his reputation was established. It is not the
only reputation that has been acquired as easily, nor are such fortunate
circumstances confined to partridge-shooting.
Meanwhile, Mr. Winkle flashed, and blazed, and smoked away, without
producing any material results worthy of being noted down; sometimes
expending his charge in mid-air, and at others sending it skimming along
so near the surface of the ground as to place the lives of the two dogs
on a rather uncertain and precarious tenure. As a display of fancy-
shooting, it was extremely varied and curious; as an exhibition of
firing with any precise object, it was, upon the whole, perhaps a
failure. It is an established axiom, that ‘every bullet has its billet.’
If it apply in an equal degree to shot, those of Mr. Winkle were
unfortunate foundlings, deprived of their natural rights, cast loose
upon the world, and billeted nowhere.
‘Well,’ said Wardle, walking up to the side of the barrow, and wiping
the streams of perspiration from his jolly red face; ‘smoking day, isn’t
it?’
‘It is, indeed,’ replied Mr. Pickwick. The sun is tremendously hot, even
to me. I don’t know how you must feel it.’
‘Why,’ said the old gentleman, ‘pretty hot. It’s past twelve, though.
You see that green hill there?’
‘Certainly.’
‘That’s the place where we are to lunch; and, by Jove, there’s the boy
with the basket, punctual as clockwork!’
‘So he is,’ said Mr. Pickwick, brightening up. ‘Good boy, that. I’ll
give him a shilling, presently. Now, then, Sam, wheel away.’
‘Hold on, sir,’ said Mr. Weller, invigorated with the prospect of
refreshments. ‘Out of the vay, young leathers. If you walley my precious
life don’t upset me, as the gen’l’m’n said to the driver when they was
a-carryin’ him to Tyburn.’ And quickening his pace to a sharp run, Mr.
Weller wheeled his master nimbly to the green hill, shot him dexterously
out by the very side of the basket, and proceeded to unpack it with the
utmost despatch.
‘Weal pie,’ said Mr. Weller, soliloquising, as he arranged the eatables
on the grass. ‘Wery good thing is weal pie, when you know the lady as
made it, and is quite sure it ain’t kittens; and arter all though,
where’s the odds, when they’re so like weal that the wery piemen
themselves don’t know the difference?’
‘Don’t they, Sam?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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