England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Men -- Societies and clubs -- Fiction
‘Here is the entry,’ resumed Dodson. ‘“Middlesex, Capias MARTHA BARDELL,
WIDOW, v. SAMUEL PICKWICK. Damages £1500. Dodson & Fogg for the
plaintiff, Aug. 28, 1827.” All regular, Sir; perfectly.’ Dodson coughed
and looked at Fogg, who said ‘Perfectly,’ also. And then they both
looked at Mr. Pickwick.
‘I am to understand, then,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘that it really is your
intention to proceed with this action?’
‘Understand, sir!--that you certainly may,’ replied Dodson, with
something as near a smile as his importance would allow.
‘And that the damages are actually laid at fifteen hundred pounds?’ said
Mr. Pickwick.
‘To which understanding you may add my assurance, that if we could have
prevailed upon our client, they would have been laid at treble the
amount, sir,’ replied Dodson.
‘I believe Mrs. Bardell specially said, however,’ observed Fogg,
glancing at Dodson, ‘that she would not compromise for a farthing less.’
‘Unquestionably,’ replied Dodson sternly. For the action was only just
begun; and it wouldn’t have done to let Mr. Pickwick compromise it then,
even if he had been so disposed.
‘As you offer no terms, sir,’ said Dodson, displaying a slip of
parchment in his right hand, and affectionately pressing a paper copy of
it, on Mr. Pickwick with his left, ‘I had better serve you with a copy
of this writ, sir. Here is the original, sir.’
‘Very well, gentlemen, very well,’ said Mr. Pickwick, rising in person
and wrath at the same time; ‘you shall hear from my solicitor,
gentlemen.’
‘We shall be very happy to do so,’ said Fogg, rubbing his hands.
‘Very,’ said Dodson, opening the door.
‘And before I go, gentlemen,’ said the excited Mr. Pickwick, turning
round on the landing, ‘permit me to say, that of all the disgraceful and
rascally proceedings--’
‘Stay, sir, stay,’ interposed Dodson, with great politeness. ‘Mr.
Jackson! Mr. Wicks!’
‘Sir,’ said the two clerks, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.
‘I merely want you to hear what this gentleman says,’ replied Dodson.
‘Pray, go on, sir--disgraceful and rascally proceedings, I think you
said?’
‘I did,’ said Mr. Pickwick, thoroughly roused. ‘I said, Sir, that of all
the disgraceful and rascally proceedings that ever were attempted, this
is the most so. I repeat it, sir.’
‘You hear that, Mr. Wicks,’ said Dodson.
‘You won’t forget these expressions, Mr. Jackson?’ said Fogg.
‘Perhaps you would like to call us swindlers, sir,’ said Dodson. ‘Pray
do, Sir, if you feel disposed; now pray do, Sir.’
‘I do,’ said Mr. Pickwick. ‘You _are _swindlers.’
‘Very good,’ said Dodson. ‘You can hear down there, I hope, Mr. Wicks?’
‘Oh, yes, Sir,’ said Wicks.
‘You had better come up a step or two higher, if you can’t,’ added Mr.
Fogg. ‘Go on, Sir; do go on. You had better call us thieves, Sir; or
perhaps You would like to assault one of _us_. Pray do it, Sir, if you
would; we will not make the smallest resistance. Pray do it, Sir.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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