England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Male friendship -- Fiction; Men -- Societies and clubs -- Fiction
On this request being preferred, the corpulent man condescended to order
the boots to bring in the gentlemen’s luggage; and preceding them down a
long, dark passage, ushered them into a large, badly-furnished
apartment, with a dirty grate, in which a small fire was making a
wretched attempt to be cheerful, but was fast sinking beneath the
dispiriting influence of the place. After the lapse of an hour, a bit of
fish and a steak was served up to the travellers, and when the dinner
was cleared away, Mr. Pickwick and Mr. Peter Magnus drew their chairs up
to the fire, and having ordered a bottle of the worst possible port
wine, at the highest possible price, for the good of the house, drank
brandy-and-water for their own.
Mr. Peter Magnus was naturally of a very communicative disposition, and
the brandy-and-water operated with wonderful effect in warming into life
the deepest hidden secrets of his bosom. After sundry accounts of
himself, his family, his connections, his friends, his jokes, his
business, and his brothers (most talkative men have a great deal to say
about their brothers), Mr. Peter Magnus took a view of Mr. Pickwick
through his coloured spectacles for several minutes, and then said, with
an air of modesty--
‘And what do you think--what _do_ you think, Mr. Pickwick--I have come
down here for?’
‘Upon my word,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘it is wholly impossible for me to
guess; on business, perhaps.’
‘Partly right, Sir,’ replied Mr. Peter Magnus, ‘but partly wrong at the
same time; try again, Mr. Pickwick.’
‘Really,’ said Mr. Pickwick, ‘I must throw myself on your mercy, to tell
me or not, as you may think best; for I should never guess, if I were to
try all night.’
‘Why, then, he-he-he!’ said Mr. Peter Magnus, with a bashful titter,
‘what should you think, Mr. Pickwick, if I had come down here to make a
proposal, Sir, eh? He, he, he!’
‘Think! That you are very likely to succeed,’ replied Mr. Pickwick, with
one of his beaming smiles.
‘Ah!’ said Mr. Magnus. ‘But do you really think so, Mr. Pickwick? Do
you, though?’
‘Certainly,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘No; but you’re joking, though.’
‘I am not, indeed.’
‘Why, then,’ said Mr. Magnus, ‘to let you into a little secret, I think
so too. I don’t mind telling you, Mr. Pickwick, although I’m dreadful
jealous by nature--horrid--that the lady is in this house.’ Here Mr.
Magnus took off his spectacles, on purpose to wink, and then put them on
again.
‘That’s what you were running out of the room for, before dinner, then,
so often,’ said Mr. Pickwick archly.
‘Hush! Yes, you’re right, that was it; not such a fool as to see her,
though.’
‘No!’
‘No; wouldn’t do, you know, after having just come off a journey. Wait
till to-morrow, sir; double the chance then. Mr. Pickwick, Sir, there is
a suit of clothes in that bag, and a hat in that box, which, I expect,
in the effect they will produce, will be invaluable to me, sir.’
‘Indeed!’ said Mr. Pickwick.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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