United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"You don't understand. I know that you don't understand. I've been doing
a lot of thinking since Prom, too. I've thought over a lot of things
that you've said to me--about me, I mean. Why, Hugh, you think I'm not
human. I don't believe you think I have passions like the rest of you.
Well, I do, and sometimes it's--it's awful. I'm telling you that so
you'll understand that I know how you feel. But love's beautiful to me,
Hugh, the most wonderful thing in the world. I was in love with a girl
once--and I know. She didn't give a hang for me; she thought I was a
baby. I suffered awfully; but I know that my love was beautiful, as
beautiful as--" He looked around for a simile--"as to-night. I think
it's because of that that I hate mugging and petting and that sort of
thing. I don't want beauty debased. I want to fight when orchestras jazz
famous arias. Well, petting is jazzing love; and I hate it. Do you see
what I mean?"
Hugh looked at him wonderingly. He didn't know this Norry at all. "Yes,"
he said slowly; "yes, I see what you mean; I think I do, anyway. But
what has it to do with me?"
"Well, I know most of the fellows pet and all that sort of thing, and
they don't think anything about it. But you're different; you love
beautiful things as much as I do. You told me yourself that Jimmie
Henley said last year that you were gifted. You can write and sing and
run, but I've just realized that you aren't proud of those things at
all; you just take them for granted. And you're ashamed that you write
poetry. Some of your poems are good, but you haven't sent any of them to
the poetry magazine. You don't want anybody to know that you write
poetry. You're trying to make yourself like fellows that are inferior to
you." Norry was piteously in earnest. His hero had crumbled into clay
before his eyes, and he was trying to patch him together again
preparatory to boosting him back upon his pedestal.
"Oh, cripes, Norry," Hugh said a little impatiently, "you exaggerate all
my virtues; you always have. I'm not half the fellow you think I am. I
do love beautiful things, but I don't believe my poetry is any good." He
paused a moment and then confessed mournfully: "I'll admit, though, that
I have been going downhill. I'm going to do better from now on. You
watch me."
They talked for hours, Norry embarrassing Hugh with the frankness of
his admiration. Norry's hero-worship had always embarrassed him, but he
didn't like it when the worshiper began to criticize. He admitted the
justness of the criticism, but it hurt him just the same. Perching on a
pedestal had been uncomfortable but a little thrilling; sitting on the
ground and gazing up at his perch was rather humiliating. The fall had
bruised him; and Norry, with the best intentions in the world, was
kicking the bruises.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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