The Plays of W. E. Henley and R. L. StevensonStevenson, Robert Louis
General
The Plays of W. E. Henley and R. L. Stevenson
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Drama
DUMONT (_blowing in key_). Well, I suppose you are still willing to
begone?
MACAIRE. More than willing, my dear soul: pressed, I may say, for time;
for though it had quite escaped my memory, I have an appointment in Turin
with a lady of title.
DUMONT (_at box_). It’s very odd. (_Blows its key_.) It’s a singular
thing (_blowing_), key won’t turn. It’s a patent. Some one must have
tampered with the lock (_blowing_). It’s strangely singular, it’s
singularly singular! I’ve shown this key to commercial gentlemen all the
way from Paris: they never saw a better key! (_more business_). Well
(_giving it up and looking reproachfully on key_), that’s pretty
singular.
MACAIRE. Let me try. (_He tries_, _and flings down the key with a
curse_.) Bitten.
BERTRAND. Sold again.
DUMONT (_picking up key_). It’s a patent key.
MACAIRE (_to_ BERTRAND). The game’s up: we must save the swag. (_To_
DUMONT.) Sir, since your key, on which I invoke the blight of Egypt, has
once more defaulted, my feelings are unequal to a repetition of
yesterday’s distress, and I shall simply pad the hoof. From Turin you
shall receive the address of my banker, and may prosperity attend your
ventures. (_To_ BERTRAND.) Now, boy! (_To_ DUMONT.) Embrace my
fatherless child! farewell! (MACAIRE _and_ BERTRAND _turn to go off and
are met in the door by the_ GENDARMES.)
SCENE III
_To these_, _the_ BRIGADIER _and_ GENDARMES
BRIGADIER. Let no man leave the house.
MACAIRE (_aside_). Bitten.
BERTRAND (_aside_). Sold again.
DUMONT. Welcome, old friend!
BRIGADIER. It is not the friend that comes; it is the Brigadier. Summon
your guests: I must investigate their passports. I am in pursuit of a
notorious malefactor, Robert Macaire.
DUMONT. But I was led to believe that both Macaire and his accomplice
had been arrested and condemned.
BRIGADIER. They were, but they have once more escaped for the moment,
and justice is indefatigable. (_He sits at table R._) Dumont, a bottle
of white wine.
MACAIRE (_to_ DUMONT). My excellent friend, I will discharge your
commission, and return with all speed. (_Going_.)
BRIGADIER. Halt!
MACAIRE (_returning: as if he saw_ BRIGADIER _for the first time_). Ha?
a member of the force? Charmed, I’m sure. But you misconceive me: I
return at once, and my friend remains behind to answer for me.
BRIGADIER. Justice is insensible to friendship. I shall deal with you
in due time. Dumont, that bottle.
MACAIRE. Sir, my friend and I, who are students of character, would
grasp the opportunity to share and—may one add?—to pay the bottle.
Dumont, three!
BERTRAND. For God’s sake! (_Enter_ ALINE _and_ MAIDS.)
MACAIRE. My friend is an author: so, in a humbler way, am I. Your
knowledge of the criminal classes naturally tempts one to pursue so
interesting an acquaintance.
BRIGADIER. Justice is impartial. Gentlemen, your health.
MACAIRE. Will not these brave fellows join us?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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