The Pocket R.L.S.: Being Favourite Passages from the Works of StevensonStevenson, Robert Louis
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The Pocket R.L.S.: Being Favourite Passages from the Works of Stevenson
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Stevenson, Robert Louis, 1850-1894 -- Quotations
We are different with different friends; yet if we look closely we shall
find that every such relation reposes on some particular apotheosis of
oneself; with each friend, although we could not distinguish it in words
from any other, we have at least one special reputation to preserve: and
it is thus that we run, when mortified, to our friend or the woman that
we love, not to hear ourselves called better, but to be better men in
point of fact. We seek this society to flatter ourselves with our own
good conduct. And hence any falsehood in the relation, any incomplete or
perverted understanding, will spoil even the pleasure of these visits.
But it follows that since they are neither of them so good as the other
hopes, and each is, in a very honest manner, playing a part above his
powers, such an intercourse must often be disappointing to both.
*****
It is the mark of a modest man to accept his friendly circle ready-made
from the hands of opportunity; and that was the lawyer’s way. His
friends were those of his own blood, or those whom he had known the
longest; his affections, like ivy, were the growth of time, they implied
no aptness in the object.
*****
Of those who are to act influentially on their fellows, we should expect
always something large and public in their way of life, something more
or less urbane and comprehensive in their sentiment for others. We
should not expect to see them spend their sympathy in idyls, however
beautiful. We should not seek them among those who, if they have but a
wife to their bosom, ask no more of womankind, just as they ask no more
of their own sex, if they can find a friend or two for their
immediate need. They will be quick to feel all the pleasures of our
association-not the great ones alone, but all. They will know not love
only, but all those other ways in which man and woman mutually make
each other happy-by sympathy, by admiration, by the atmosphere they bear
about them-down to the mere impersonal pleasure of passing happy faces
in the street. For, through all this gradation, the difference of sex
makes itself pleasurably felt. Down to the most lukewarm courtesies of
life, there is a special chivalry due and a special pleasure received,
when the two sexes are brought ever so lightly into contact. We love our
mothers otherwise than we love our fathers; a sister is not as a brother
to us; and friendship between man and woman, be it never so unalloyed
and innocent, is not the same as friendship between man and man. Such
friendship is not even possible for all. To conjoin tenderness for a
woman that is not far short of passionate with such disinterestedness
and beautiful gratuity of affection as there is between friends of the
same sex, requires no ordinary disposition in the man. For either it
would presuppose quite womanly delicacy of perception, and, as it were,
a curiosity in shades of differing sentiment; or it would mean that
he had accepted the large, simple divisions of society: a strong
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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