The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur SymonsDowson, Ernest Christopher
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The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur Symons
Dowson, Ernest Christopher
Authors, English; English poetry
And so on through all the exquisite changes of the hymn, until the
time of the music changed, and the priest intoned the closing line.
'Ora pro nobis, Sancta Dei Genetrix!'
and the voices in the gallery answered:
'Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.'
There was one voice which rose above all the others, a voice of
marvellous sweetness and power, which from the first moment had caused
me a curious thrill. And presently Lorimer bent down and whispered to
me: 'So near,' he murmured, 'and yet so far away--so near, and yet
never quite close!'
But before he had spoken I had read in his rigid face, in his eyes
fixed with such a passion of regret on the screen, why we were
there--whose voice it was we had listened to.
I rose and went out of the church quietly and hastily; I felt that to
stay there one moment longer would be suffocation.... Poor woman! so
this is how she sought consolation, in religion! Well, there are
different ways for different persons--and for me--what is there left
for me? Oh, many things, no doubt, many things. Still, for once and
for the last time, let me set myself down as a dreary fraud. I never
forgot her, not for one hour or day, not even when it seemed to me
that I had forgotten her most, not even when I married. No woman ever
represented to me the same idea as Madame de Savaresse. No woman's
voice was ever sweet to me after hers, the touch of no woman's hand
ever made my heart beat one moment quicker for pleasure or for pain,
since I pressed hers for the last time on that fateful evening twenty
years ago. Even so--!...
When the service was over and the people had streamed out and
dispersed, I went back for the last time into the quiet church. A
white robed server was extinguishing the last candle on the altar;
only the one red light perpetually vigilant before the sanctuary, made
more visible the deep shadows everywhere.
Lorimer was still kneeling with bowed head in his place. Presently he
rose and came towards me. 'She was there--Delphine--you heard her. Ah,
Dion, she loves you, she always loves you, you are avenged.'
I gather that for years he has spent hours daily in this church, to be
near her, and hear her voice, the magnificent voice rising above all
the other voices in the chants of her religion. But he will never see
her, for is she not of the Dames Rouges! And I remember now all the
stories of the Order, of its strictness, its austerity, its perfect
isolation. And chiefly, I remember how they say that only twice after
one of these nuns has taken her vows is she seen of any one except
those of her community; once, when she enters the Order, the door of
the convent is thrown back and she is seen for a single moment in the
scarlet habit of the Order, by the world, by all who care to gaze; and
once more, at the last, when clad in the same coarse red garb, they
bear her out quietly, in her coffin, into the church.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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