All folks who pretend to religion and grace, Allow there's a HELL, but dispute of the place: But, if HELL may by logical rules be defined The place of the damn'd--I'll tell you my mind. Wherever the damn'd do chiefly abound, Most certainly there is HELL to be found: Damn'd poets, damn'd critics, damn'd blockheads, damn'd knaves, Damn'd senators bribed, damn'd prostitute slaves; Damn'd lawyers and judges, damn'd lords and damn'd squires; Damn'd spies and informers, damn'd friends and damn'd liars; Damn'd villains, corrupted in every station; Damn'd time-serving priests all over the nation; And into the bargain I'll readily give you Damn'd ignorant prelates, and counsellors privy. Then let us no longer by parsons be flamm'd, For we know by these marks the place of the damn'd: And HELL to be sure is at Paris or Rome. How happy for us that it is not at home! THE DAY OF JUDGMENT[1] With a whirl of thought oppress'd, I sunk from reverie to rest. An horrid vision seized my head; I saw the graves give up their dead! Jove, arm'd with terrors, bursts the skies, And thunder roars and lightning flies! Amaz'd, confus'd, its fate unknown, The world stands trembling at his throne! While each pale sinner hung his head, Jove, nodding, shook the heavens, and said: "Offending race of human kind, By nature, reason, _learning_, blind; You who, through frailty, stepp'd aside; And you, who never fell--_through pride_: You who in different sects were shamm'd, And come to see each other damn'd; (So some folk told you, but they knew No more of Jove's designs than you;) --The world's mad business now is o'er, And I resent these pranks no more. --I to such blockheads set my wit! I damn such fools!--Go, go, you're _bit_." [Footnote 1: This Poem was sent in a letter from Lord Chesterfield to Voltaire, dated 27th August, 1752, in which he says: "Je vous envoie ci-jointe une pièce par le feu Docteur Swift, laquelle je crois ne vous déplaira pas. Elle n'a jamais été imprimée, vous en dévinerez bien la raison, roais elle est authentique. J'en ai l'original, écrit de sa propre main."--_W. E. B._] JUDAS. 1731