Dick left a pattern few will copy after: Then, reader, pray shed some tears of salt water; For so sad a tale is no subject of laughter. Meath smiles for the jointure, though gotten so late; The son laughs, that got the hard-gotten estate; And Cuffe[3] grins, for getting the Alicant plate. Here quiet they lie, in hopes to rise one day, Both solemnly put in this hole on a Sunday, And here rest----_sic transit gloria mundi_! [Footnote 1: Of Kilbrue, in the county of Meath.--_F._] [Footnote 2: Dorothy, dowager of Edward, Earl of Meath. She was married to the general in 1716, and died 10th April, 1728. Her husband survived her but two days.--_F_. The Dolly of this epitaph is the same lady whom Swift satirized in his "Conference between Sir Harry Pierce's Chariot and Mrs. Dorothy Stopford's Chair." See _ante_, p.85.--_W. E. B._] [Footnote 3: John Cuffe, of Desart, Esq., married the general's eldest daughter.--_F._] VERSES ON I KNOW NOT WHAT My latest tribute here I send, With this let your collection end. Thus I consign you down to fame A character to praise or blame: And if the whole may pass for true, Contented rest, you have your due. Give future time the satisfaction, To leave one handle for detraction. DR. SWIFT TO HIMSELF ON ST. CECILIA'S DAY Grave Dean of St. Patrick's, how comes it to pass, That you, who know music no more than an ass, That you who so lately were writing of drapiers, Should lend your cathedral to players and scrapers? To act such an opera once in a year, So offensive to every true Protestant ear, With trumpets, and fiddles, and organs, and singing, Will sure the Pretender and Popery bring in, No Protestant Prelate, his lordship or grace, Durst there show his right, or most reverend face: How would it pollute their crosiers and rochets, To listen to minims, and quavers, and crochets! [The rest is wanting.] AN ANSWER TO A FRIEND'S QUESTION The furniture that best doth please St. Patrick's Dean, good Sir, are these: The knife and fork with which I eat; And next the pot that boils the meat; The next to be preferr'd, I think, Is the glass in which I drink; The shelves on which my books I keep And the bed on which I sleep; An antique elbow-chair between, Big enough to hold the Dean; And the stove that gives delight In the cold bleak wintry night: To these we add a thing below, More for use reserved than show: These are what the Dean do please; All superfluous are but these. EPITAPH INSCRIBED ON A MARBLE TABLET, IN BERKELEY CHURCH, GLOUCESTERSHIRE H. S. E.