Deluded mortals, whom the great Choose for companions _tête-à-tête_; Who at their dinners, _en famille_, Get leave to sit whene'er you will; Then boasting tell us where you dined, And how his lordship was so kind; How many pleasant things he spoke; And how you laugh'd at every joke: Swear he's a most facetious man; That you and he are cup and can; You travel with a heavy load, And quite mistake preferment's road. Suppose my lord and you alone; Hint the least interest of your own, His visage drops, he knits his brow, He cannot talk of business now: Or, mention but a vacant post, He'll turn it off with "Name your toast:" Nor could the nicest artist paint A countenance with more constraint. For, as their appetites to quench, Lords keep a pimp to bring a wench; So men of wit are but a kind Of panders to a vicious mind Who proper objects must provide To gratify their lust of pride, When, wearied with intrigues of state, They find an idle hour to prate. Then, shall you dare to ask a place, You forfeit all your patron's grace, And disappoint the sole design, For which he summon'd you to dine. Thus Congreve spent in writing plays, And one poor office, half his days: While Montague,[1] who claim'd the station To be Mæcenas of the nation, For poets open table kept, But ne'er consider'd where they slept: Himself as rich as fifty Jews, Was easy, though they wanted shoes; And crazy Congreve scarce could spare A shilling to discharge his chair: Till prudence taught him to appeal From Pæan's fire to party zeal; Not owing to his happy vein The fortunes of his later scene, Took proper principles to thrive: And so might every dunce alive.[2] Thus Steele, who own'd what others writ, And flourish'd by imputed wit, From perils of a hundred jails, Withdrew to starve, and die in Wales. Thus Gay, the hare with many friends, Twice seven long years the court attends: Who, under tales conveying truth, To virtue form'd a princely youth:[3] Who paid his courtship with the crowd, As far as modest pride allow'd; Rejects a servile usher's place, And leaves St. James's in disgrace.[4] Thus Addison, by lords carest, Was left in foreign lands distrest; Forgot at home, became for hire A travelling tutor to a squire: But wisely left the Muses' hill, To business shaped the poet's quill, Let all his barren laurels fade, Took up himself the courtier's trade, And, grown a minister of state, Saw poets at his levee wait.[5] Hail, happy Pope! whose generous mind Detesting all the statesman kind, Contemning courts, at courts unseen, Refused the visits of a queen. A soul with every virtue fraught, By sages, priests, or poets taught; Whose filial piety excels Whatever Grecian story tells;[6] A genius for all stations fit, Whose meanest talent is his wit: His heart too great, though fortune little, To lick a rascal statesman's spittle: Appealing to the nation's taste, Above the reach of want is placed: By Homer dead was taught to thrive, Which Homer never could alive;