But then, to keep it in repair, My lord--twice fifty pounds a-year Will barely do; but if your grace Could make them hundreds--charming place! Thou then wouldst show another face. Clogher! far north, my lord, it lies, 'Midst snowy hills, inclement skies: One shivers with the arctic wind, One hears the polar axis grind. Good John[3] indeed, with beef and claret, Makes the place warm, that one may bear it. He has a purse to keep a table, And eke a soul as hospitable. My heart is good; but assets fail, To fight with storms of snow and hail. Besides, the country's thin of people, Who seldom meet but at the steeple: The strapping dean, that's gone to Down, Ne'er named the thing without a frown, When, much fatigued with sermon study, He felt his brain grow dull and muddy; No fit companion could be found, To push the lazy bottle round: Sure then, for want of better folks To pledge, his clerk was orthodox. Ah! how unlike to Gerard Street, Where beaux and belles in parties meet; Where gilded chairs and coaches throng, And jostle as they troll along; Where tea and coffee hourly flow, And gape-seed does in plenty grow; And Griz (no clock more certain) cries, Exact at seven, "Hot mutton-pies!" There Lady Luna in her sphere Once shone, when Paunceforth was not near; But now she wanes, and, as 'tis said, Keeps sober hours, and goes to bed. There--but 'tis endless to write down All the amusements of the town; And spouse will think herself quite undone, To trudge to Connor[4] from sweet London; And care we must our wives to please, Or else--we shall be ill at ease. You see, my lord, what 'tis I lack, 'Tis only some convenient tack, Some parsonage-house with garden sweet, To be my late, my last retreat; A decent church, close by its side, There, preaching, praying, to reside; And as my time securely rolls, To save my own and other souls. [Footnote 1: This piece is repeatedly and always satirically alluded to in the preceding poems.--_Scott_.] [Footnote 2: The name of the Duke's seat in Suffolk.--_N._] [Footnote 3: Bishop Sterne.--_H._] [Footnote 4: The bishopric of Connor is united to that of Down; but there are two deans.--_Scott_.] THE DUKE'S ANSWER BY DR. SWIFT