[Footnote 1: Dr. Theophilus Bolton, a particular friend of the Dean.--_Scott_.] ON THE IRISH CLUB. 1733[1] Ye paltry underlings of state, Ye senators who love to prate; Ye rascals of inferior note, Who, for a dinner, sell a vote; Ye pack of pensionary peers, Whose fingers itch for poets' ears; Ye bishops, far removed from saints, Why all this rage? Why these complaints? Why against printers all this noise? This summoning of blackguard boys? Why so sagacious in your guesses? Your _effs_, and _tees_, and _arrs_, and _esses_! Take my advice; to make you safe, I know a shorter way by half. The point is plain; remove the cause; Defend your liberties and laws. Be sometimes to your country true, Have once the public good in view: Bravely despise champagne at court, And choose to dine at home with port: Let prelates, by their good behaviour, Convince us they believe a Saviour; Nor sell what they so dearly bought, This country, now their own, for nought. Ne'er did a true satiric muse Virtue or innocence abuse; And 'tis against poetic rules To rail at men by nature fools: But * * * * * * * [Footnote 1: In the Dublin Edition, 1729--_Scott_.] ON NOISY TOM HORACE, PART OF BOOK I, SAT. VI, PARAPHRASED 1733 If Noisy Tom[1] should in the senate prate, "That he would answer both for church and state; And, farther, to demonstrate his affection, Would take the kingdom into his protection;" All mortals must be curious to inquire, Who could this coxcomb be, and who his sire? "What! thou, the spawn of him[2] who shamed our isle, Traitor, assassin, and informer vile! Though by the female side,[3] you proudly bring, To mend your breed, the murderer of a king: What was thy grandsire,[4] but a mountaineer, Who held a cabin for ten groats a-year: Whose master Moore[5] preserved him from the halter, For stealing cows! nor could he read the Psalter! Durst thou, ungrateful, from the senate chase Thy founder's grandson,[6] and usurp his place? Just Heaven! to see the dunghill bastard brood Survive in thee, and make the proverb good?[7] Then vote a worthy citizen to jail,[8] In spite of justice, and refuse his bail!"[9] [Footnote 1: Sir Thomas Prendergast. See _post_, p. 266.] [Footnote 2: The father of Sir Thomas Prendergast, who engaged in a plot to murder King William III; but, to avoid being hanged, turned informer against his associates, for which he was rewarded with a good estate, and made a baronet.--_F_.] [Footnote 3: Cadogan's family.--_F_.] [Footnote 4: A poor thieving cottager under Mr. Moore, condemned at Clonmel assizes to be hanged for stealing cows.--_F_.] [Footnote 5: The grandfather of Guy Moore, Esq., who procured him a pardon._--F._]