As I never could relish to travel alone, I look'd round about, but could hit upon none Whom Satan was tempting to leave their own houses And ramble to York with their daughters and spouses; At last, by repeating my trouble and care, And preaching a month on the sweets of fresh air, And the curse and the plague of remaining in town, Where the heat was sufficient to melt a man down, I got a few friends to consent to the trip; And the first I shall mention was honest Will. Snip, Philadelphia the famous had own'd to his birth, The gravest of towns on the face of the earth; Where saints of all orders their freedom may claim, And poets, and painters, and girls of the game: To him all its streets and its alleys were known, But his travels had never exceeded the town:-- A salesman by trade (and a dabster was he To make a silk knee-band set snug to the knee) With his wife (and he says I may mention her name) Susanna Snipinda--so charming a dame, The sun had with pleasure look'd down on her head, So freckled was she, and her tresses so red. To wait on the will of so handsome a lady A youngster was order'd to hold himself ready, A sly looking lad that was 'prentice to Snip, And long had been learning to cabbage and clip;-- When Snip was in sight, he was mild as a lamb; When absent, old Satan could hardly rule Sam. III. O'KEEF, _a Swaggering Captain_ The next I describe is bold captain O'Keef, A killer of men, and a lover of beef: With the heroes of old he had put in his claim, And catch'd at their mantles, and rose into fame: To the sound of a fife and the tune of no song With his Andra Ferrara[C] he paddled along: From his manners so rough, and his dealing in ruin, He was known thro' the town by the name of Sir Bruin; He was, among women, a man of great parts, A captain of foot, and a master of arts: He had, a sweet creature put under his care, (Whose style of address was, my dear, and my dear) A Milliner's girl, with a bundle of lace, Whom Cynthia[D] he call'd, for the sake of her face, At a ball or a frolic how glib his tongue ran, He was, I may say, an unparallell'd man, Very apt to harangue on the hosts he has slain Of people--perhaps that may meet him again: Yet so kind to the sex of the feminine make, By his words, he would venture to die for their sake, Whence some have suspected, that some he ador'd Have more than made up for the wastes of his sword. [C] A large kind of sword, in use among the Italians.--_Freneau's note, 1795 edition._ [D] Cynthia is also a poetical name for the Moon.--_Freneau's note, 1788 edition._ IV. TOUPPEE: _a French Hair Dresser_