The Poet at the Breakfast-TableHolmes, Oliver Wendell
General
The Poet at the Breakfast-Table
Holmes, Oliver Wendell
American fiction -- 19th century; Conversation -- Fiction; Poetry
The old Master, as I think you must have found out by this time,--you,
Beloved, I mean, who read every word,--has a reasonably good opinion,
as perhaps he has a right to have, of his own intelligence and
acquirements. The Scarabee's exultation and glow as he spoke of the
errors of the great entomologist which he himself could have corrected,
had the effect on the old Master which a lusty crow has upon the
feathered champion of the neighboring barnyard. He too knew something
about insects. Had he not discovered a new tabanus? Had he not
made preparations of the very coleoptera the Scarabee studied so
exclusively,--preparations which the illustrious Swammerdam would not
have been ashamed of, and dissected a melolontha as exquisitely as
Strauss Durckheim himself ever did it? So the Master, recalling these
studies of his and certain difficult and disputed points at which he
had labored in one of his entomological paroxysms, put a question which
there can be little doubt was intended to puzzle the Scarabee, and
perhaps,--for the best of us is human (I am beginning to love the old
Master, but he has his little weaknesses, thank Heaven, like the rest
of us),--I say perhaps, was meant to show that some folks knew as much
about some things as some other folks.
The little dried-up specialist did not dilate into fighting dimensions
as--perhaps, again--the Master may have thought he would. He looked a
mild surprise, but remained as quiet as one of his own beetles when
you touch him and he makes believe he is dead. The blank silence became
oppressive. Was the Scarabee crushed, as so many of his namesakes are
crushed, under the heel of this trampling omniscient?
At last the Scarabee creaked out very slowly, “Did I understand you to
ask the following question, to wit?” and so forth; for I was quite
out of my depth, and only know that he repeated the Master's somewhat
complex inquiry, word for word.
--That was exactly my question,--said the Master,--and I hope it is not
uncivil to ask one which seems to me to be a puzzler.
Not uncivil in the least,--said the Scarabee, with something as much
like a look of triumph as his dry face permitted,--not uncivil at all,
but a rather extraordinary question to ask at this date of entomological
history. I settled that question some years ago, by a series of
dissections, six-and-thirty in number, reported in an essay I can show
you and would give you a copy of, but that I am a little restricted in
my revenue, and our Society has to be economical, so I have but this
one. You see, sir,--and he went on with elytra and antennae and tarsi
and metatarsi and tracheae and stomata and wing-muscles and leg-muscles
and ganglions,--all plain enough, I do not doubt, to those accustomed
to handling dor-bugs and squash-bugs and such undesirable objects of
affection to all but naturalists.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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