This thing has travell'd, speaks each language too, And knows what's fit for every State to do; Of whose best phrase and courtly accent join'd, He forms one tongue, exotic and refined Talkers I've learn'd to bear; Motteux I knew, 50 Henley himself I've heard, and Budgell too. The Doctor's wormwood style, the hash of tongues A pedant makes, the storm of Gonson's lungs, The whole artillery of the terms of war, And (all those plagues in one) the bawling Bar: These I could bear; but not a rogue so civil, Whose tongue will compliment you to the devil; A tongue, that can cheat widows, cancel scores, Make Scots speak treason, cozen subtlest whores, With royal favourites in flattery vie, 60 And Oldmixon and Burnet both outlie. He spies me out; I whisper, Gracious God! What sin of mine could merit such a rod? That all the shot of dulness now must be From this thy blunderbuss discharged on me! Permit (he cries) no stranger to your fame To crave your sentiment, if ----'s your name. What speech esteem you most? 'The King's,' said I. But the best words?--'Oh, sir, the Dictionary.' You miss my aim; I mean the most acute 70 And perfect speaker?--'Onslow, past dispute.' But, sir, of writers? 'Swift, for closer style; But Hoadley,[173] for a period of a mile.' Why, yes, 'tis granted, these indeed may pass: Good common linguists, and so Panurge was; Nay, troth, the Apostles (though perhaps too rough) Had once a pretty gift of tongues enough: Yet these were all poor gentlemen! I dare Affirm, 'twas travel made them what they were. Thus others' talents having nicely shown, 80 He came by sure transition to his own: Till I cried out, You prove yourself so able, Pity you was not druggerman at Babel; For had they found a linguist half so good, I make no question but the tower had stood. 'Obliging sir! for courts you sure were made: Why then for ever buried in the shade? Spirits like you should see, and should be seen, The king would smile on you--at least the queen.' Ah, gentle sir! you courtiers so cajole us-- 90 But Tully has it, _Nunquam minus solus_: And as for courts, forgive me, if I say No lessons now are taught the Spartan way: Though in his pictures lust be full display'd, Few are the converts Aretine has made; And though the court show vice exceeding clear, None should, by my advice, learn virtue there.