19 'A metamorphosis more strange Than all his books can vapour'-- 'To what (quoth squire) shall Ovid change?' Quoth Sandys, 'To waste paper.' UMBRA.[85] Close to the best known author Umbra sits, The constant index to old Button's wits, 'Who's here?' cries Umbra: 'Only Johnson.'[86]--'Oh! Your slave,' and exit; but returns with Rowe: 'Dear Rowe, let's sit and talk of tragedies;' Ere long Pope enters, and to Pope he flies. Then up comes Steele: he turns upon his heel, And in a moment fastens upon Steele; But cries as soon, 'Dear Dick, I must be gone, For, if I know his tread, here's Addison.' Says Addison to Steele, ''Tis time to go:' Pope to the closet steps aside with Rowe. Poor Umbra, left in this abandon'd pickle, E'en sits him down, and writes to honest Tickell. Fool! 'tis in vain from wit to wit to roam; Know, sense, like charity, 'begins at home.' SYLVIA, A FRAGMENT. Sylvia my heart in wondrous wise alarm'd Awed without sense, and without beauty charm'd: But some odd graces and some flights she had, Was just not ugly, and was just not mad: Her tongue still ran on credit from her eyes, More pert than witty, more a wit than wise: Good-nature, she declared it, was her scorn, Though 'twas by that alone she could be borne: Affronting all, yet fond of a good name; A fool to pleasure, yet a slave to fame: Now coy, and studious in no point to fall, Now all agog for D----y at a ball: Now deep in Taylor, and the Book of Martyrs, Now drinking citron with his Grace and Chartres. Men, some to business, some to pleasure take; But every woman's in her soul a rake. Frail, feverish sex; their fit now chills, now burns: Atheism and superstition rule by turns; And a mere heathen in the carnal part, Is still a sad good Christian at her heart. IMPROMPTU TO LADY WINCHELSEA. OCCASIONED BY FOUR SATIRICAL VERSES ON WOMEN WITS, IN 'THE RAPE OF THE LOCK.' In vain you boast poetic names of yore, And cite those Sapphos we admire no more: Fate doom'd the fall of every female wit; But doom'd it then, when first Ardelia writ. Of all examples by the world confess'd, I knew Ardelia could not quote the best; Who, like her mistress on Britannia's throne, Fights and subdues in quarrels not her own. To write their praise you but in vain essay; E'en while you write, you take that praise away: Light to the stars the sun does thus restore, But shines himself till they are seen no more. EPIGRAM. A Bishop, by his neighbours hated, Has cause to wish himself translated: But why should Hough desire translation, Loved and esteem'd by all the nation? Yet, if it be the old man's case, I'll lay my life I know the place: 'Tis where God sent some that adore Him, And whither Enoch went before him. EPIGRAM ON THE FEUDS ABOUT HANDEL AND BONONCINI. Strange! all this difference should be 'Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee! ON MRS TOFTS, A CELEBRATED OPERA SINGER.