See in the circle next, Eliza[315] placed, Two babes of love close clinging to her waist; Fair as before her works she stands confess'd, 159 In flowers and pearls by bounteous Kirkall[316] dress'd. The goddess then: 'Who best can send on high The salient spout, far-streaming to the sky; His be yon Juno of majestic size, With cow-like udders, and with ox-like eyes. This China Jordan let the chief o'ercome Replenish, not ingloriously, at home.' Osborne[317] and Curll accept the glorious strife, (Though this his son dissuades, and that his wife;) One on his manly confidence relies, One on his vigour and superior size. 170 First Osborne lean'd against his letter'd post; It rose, and labour'd to a curve at most. So Jove's bright bow displays its watery round (Sure sign, that no spectator shall be drown'd), A second effort brought but new disgrace, The wild meander wash'd the artist's face: Thus the small jet, which hasty hands unlock, Spurts in the gardener's eyes who turns the cock. Not so from shameless Curll; impetuous spread The stream, and smoking flourish'd o'er his head. 180 So (famed like thee for turbulence and horns) Eridanus his humble fountain scorns; Through half the heavens he pours the exalted urn; His rapid waters in their passage burn. Swift as it mounts, all follow with their eyes: Still happy impudence obtains the prize. Thou triumph'st, victor of the high-wrought day, And the pleased dame, soft-smiling, lead'st away. Osborne, through perfect modesty o'ercome, Crown'd with the Jordan, walks contented home. 190 But now for authors nobler palms remain; Room for my lord! three jockeys in his train; Six huntsmen with a shout precede his chair: He grins, and looks broad nonsense with a stare. His honour's meaning Dulness thus express'd, 'He wins this patron, who can tickle best.' He chinks his purse, and takes his seat of state: With ready quills the dedicators wait; Now at his head the dext'rous task commence, And, instant, fancy feels the imputed sense; 200 Now gentle touches wanton o'er his face, He struts Adonis, and affects grimace: Rolli[318] the feather to his ear conveys, Then his nice taste directs our operas: Bentley[319] his mouth with classic flattery opes, And the puff'd orator bursts out in tropes. But Welsted[320] most the poet's healing balm Strives to extract from his soft, giving palm; Unlucky Welsted! thy unfeeling master, The more thou ticklest, gripes his fist the faster. 210 While thus each hand promotes the pleasing pain, And quick sensations skip from vein to vein; A youth unknown to Phoebus, in despair, Puts his last refuge all in Heaven and prayer. What force have pious vows! The Queen of Love Her sister sends, her votaress, from above. As taught by Venus, Paris learn'd the art To touch Achilles' only tender part; Secure, through her, the noble prize to carry, He marches off, his Grace's secretary. 220