By hole consent of theyr senate, I was made poete lawreate. To cal me lorell ye ar to lewde: Lythe and lystyn, all bechrewde! Of the Musys nyne, Calliope Hath pointyd me to rayle on thé. It semyth nat thy pyllyd pate Agenst a poyet lawreat 90 To take vpon thé for to scryue: It cumys thé better for to dryue A dong cart or a tumrelle Than with my poems for to melle. The honor of Englond I lernyd to spelle, In dygnyte roialle that doth excelle: Note and marke wyl[564] thys parcele; I yaue hym drynke of the sugryd welle Of Eliconys waters crystallyne, Aqueintyng hym with the Musys nyne. 100 Yt commyth thé wele me to remorde, That creaunser was to thy sofre[yne] lorde: It plesyth that noble prince roialle Me as hys master for to calle In hys lernyng primordialle. Auaunt, rybawde,[565] thi tung reclame! Me to beknaue thow art to blame; Thy tong vntawte, with poyson infecte, Withowte thou leue thou shalt be chekt,[566] And takyn vp in such a frame, 110 That all the warlde wyll spye your shame. Auaunt, auaunt, thow slogysh ... And sey poetis no dys.... It ys for no bawdy knaue The dignite lawreat for to haue. Thow callyst me scallyd, thou callyst[567] me mad: Thow thou be pyllyd, thow ar nat sade. Thow ar frantyke and lakkyst wyt, To rayle with me that thé can hyt. Thowth it be now ful tyde with thé, 120 Yet ther may falle soche caswelte, Er thow be ware, that in a throw Thow mayst fale downe and ebbe full lowe: Wherfore in welthe beware of woo, For welthe wyll sone departe thé froo. To know thy selfe yf thow lake grace, Lerne or be lewde, I shrow thy face. Thow seyst I callyd thé a pecok: Thow liist, I callyd thé a wodcoke; For thow hast a long snowte, 130 A semly nose and a stowte, Prickyd lyke an vnicorne: I wold sum manys bake ink horne Wher[568] thi nose spectacle case; Yt wold garnyche wyll[569] thy face. Thow demyst my raylyng ouyrthwarthe; I rayle to thé soche as thow art. If thow war aquentyd with alle The famous poettes saturicall, As Percius and Iuuynall, 140 Horace and noble Marciall, If they wer lyueyng thys day, Of thé wote I what they wolde say; They wolde thé wryght, all with one steuyn, The follest slouen ondyr heuen, Prowde, peuiche, lyddyr, and lewde, Malapert, medyllar, nothyng well thewde, Besy, braynles, to bralle and brage, Wytles, wayward, Syr Wryg wrag, Dysdaynous, dowble, ful of dyseyte, 150 Liing, spying by suttelte and slyght, Fleriing, flatyryng, fals, and fykkelle, Scornefull and mokkyng ouer to mykkylle. My tyme, I trow, I xulde but lese To wryght to thé of tragydese, It ys nat mete for soche a knaue;