Think of some poor old crone Treated, just like a penny, with a toss! At that vile spot now grown So generally known For making a Cow Cross! Nay, fancy your own selves far off from stall, Or shed, or shop--and that an Ox infuriate Just pins you to the wall, Giving you a strong dose of _Oxy-Muriate!_ Methinks I hear the neighbors that live round The Market-ground Thus make appeal unto their civic fellows-- "'Tis well for you that live apart--unable To hear this brutal Babel, But our _firesides_ are troubled with their _bellows_." "Folks that too freely sup Must e'en put up With their own troubles if they can't digest; But we must needs regard The case as hard That _others'_ victuals should disturb our rest, That from our sleep _your_ food should start and jump us! We like, ourselves, a steak, But, Sirs, for pity's sake! We don't want oxen at our doors to _rump-us!_" "If we _do_ doze--it really is too bad! We constantly are roar'd awake or rung, Through bullocks mad That run in all the 'Night Thoughts' of our Young!" Such are the woes of sleepers--now let's take The woes of those that wish to keep _a Wake!_ O think! when Wombwell gives his annual feasts, Think of these "Bulls of Basan," far from mild ones; Such fierce tame beasts, That nobody much cares to see the Wild ones! Think of the Show woman, "what shows a Dwarf," Seeing a red Cow come To swallow her Tom Thumb, And forc'd with broom of birch to keep her off! Think, too, of Messrs. Richardson and Co., When looking at their public private boxes, To see in the back row Three live sheep's heads, a porker's, and an Ox's! Think of their Orchestra, when two horns come Through, to accompany the double drum! Or, in the midst of murder and remorses, Just when the Ghost is certain, A great rent in the curtain, And enter two tall skeletons--of Horses! Great Philanthropics! pray urge these topics Upon the Solemn Councils of the Nation, Get a Bill soon, and give, some noon, The Bulls, a Bull of Excommunication! Let the old Fair have fair play, as its right, And to each Show and sight Ye shall be treated with a Free List latitude; To Richardson's Stage Dramas, Dio--and Cosmo--ramas, Giants and Indians wild, Dwarf, Sea Bear, and Fat Child, And that most rare of Shows--a Show of Gratitude! A REPORT FROM BELOW! "Blow high, blow low."--SEA SONG. As Mister B. and Mistress B. One night were sitting down to tea, With toast and muffins hot-- They heard a loud and sudden bounce, That made the very china flounce, They could not for a time pronounce If they were safe or shot-- For Memory brought a deed to match At Deptford done by night-- Before one eye appeared a Patch, In t'other eye a Blight!