British -- California -- Fiction; British -- China -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Hey, hey....” shouted Tam, for once losing his confidence. “Come back,
Edward. This is an outrage. You blithering fools. Have got muchee money,
what? Two piecee dollar per headee ... three dollar ... four dollar ...
what you likee, blast your eyes....”
He and Stone were pushed on shore again. They were ankle-deep in soft
mud. The boat filled with soldiers and was pushed off. Tam was furious.
He had been made ridiculous. They sat in a sombre row on the steps.
There was a long silence. They watched the boat that had refused them
make its difficult way across the river. They were all half conscious of
the hope that it might be hit by a stray bullet or two, that they might
be avenged. But all the shots went wide. White upright needles of water
showed where the shots fell, far short of the path of the crossing boats.
“Emily did come here, though, didn’t she?” said Edward in a strained
voice.
Tam’s face brightened. This story ministered to his vanity. He was
enjoying the telling of it.
“Why, of course she did. She was a wonderful secretary. If she’d wanted
to go, I wouldn’t have allowed it. She didn’t want to. All the way up
the river she kept up these curious fantastic moods. She would say the
most extravagantly affectionate and admiring things about Lucy. She
talked—curiously enough—a great deal about you, Edward. You don’t mind
my saying that she laughed at you a lot. When Emily is malicious she is
very amusing. That side of her cleverness doesn’t annoy me; that form
of her humor is a sort of complement to my humor—which is essentially
unmalicious. I love everyone. I really do. I love loving—so I love. So
she and I don’t collide there, as it were. However, it evidently relieved
and pleased her to think and talk a good deal of you. She had a devil’s
manner to me; it was hardly bearable sometimes. She never missed an
opportunity of slighting me. She put on a sort of disguise of sneering
humility. She would offer to go away if she were sitting with Lucy and I
came up.”
Poor Emily. Edward knew so terribly well these heartbreaking defiances of
the mind. She had sneered at him—Edward. Perhaps it had really relieved
her to hide herself in sneers. Self-torturer though he was, he could not
conceive that she would really sneer at him with her heart. He thought he
could face this possibility but actually he vaguely imagined witty and
gratifying criticism of his modesty and his intensity. He only imagined
mockery from her that he could have borne to hear. He thought, “Our
selfless hero is willing to be sacrificed on the altar of her pain.”
Tam was saying, “Yes, of course she came here. She was here for three
days.”
There was another uproar among the soldiers on the beach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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