British -- California -- Fiction; British -- China -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“I’ll go on about Emily,” said Tam in a rather luxurious voice. “It’s
an unhappy yarn for me to tell, of course, but you have a right to hear
it. Lucy turned her out of our house. We had been here three days. Lucy
is ... rather dumb in this story, if you know what I mean. Lucy has
always escaped storms. She thinks emotions are indecent—any kind, I
mean, and any degree. But especially misery or ecstasy. If you said to
Lucy, ‘I believe in God,’ outside of a church, she would think you were
irreverent. If you said, ‘I love you better than my life,’ outside of a
decorous marriage or recognised flirtation, she would think you improper.
All along you could see that she was hiding the situation from herself.
But, I suppose unconsciously, she developed a habit of being obviously
proud of me in Emily’s presence. She had a way of looking round when I
said anything clever, as if saying, ‘Look what he can do—and he’s mine.’
Several times Emily, who never hides anything from anyone, least of all
herself, commented with a sort of swagger on this trick of Lucy’s. Once
she said, ‘Lucy, you look as if you’d helped the Lord to create him.’
‘Mother Lucy’s chicken,’ she called me once or twice. But one night at
that bungalow it was fearfully hot——”
At that bungalow! Emily’s sure clear presence had really parted the
pine-shadowed air of that garden. The sound of Emily’s steps clicking up
those steps had really travelled on this warm damp wind to an unquickened
hearing.
“Lucy put her hand on my arm and said in her tolerant and reproachful
way, ‘My darling’—like that, ‘My darling’—as a check to some flippant
profanity I had just indulged in. And Emily stood up and—you know her
way, even in small things—jumped with her heels on the floor. She
clutched her clenched hands to her breasts and drew the corners of her
mouth down and shouted, ‘Not your darling—not your darling—not your
darling—’ many times. It seemed as if she would never stop. My God, we
were all perspiring—we were so sick with heat and with disgust, somehow,
even I, who am not afraid of emotions. Emily came and beat with her hands
upon my chest. ‘Oh, Tam’—she cried, ‘Oh, Tam—save me....’ Then you could
see that Lucy had been expecting something of the sort all along—she
was so quick. Lucy had her. Lucy had her fast by the shoulders. Lucy
pushed her in a sort of fussy, curious, shocked way out of the room. Lucy
was dark red and she was making a sort of stammering blubbering little
voiceless sound between her lips like someone shooing away a hen. ‘Now
you can go right away at once....’ I could hear Lucy saying in a loud
trembling voice in the next room. I could hear the shuffle of Emily’s
things being thrown into the suitcase.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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