“A cheerful wish,” said Harry. “Uncle Cornie is a lively
companion--isn’t he? He cant even blunder through a Joe Miller without
tacking a moral to it, and then trying to persuade you that the joke of
it depends on the moral.”
“Here he comes!” said Kate, as three distinct blows with the knob of his
walking-stick announced the arrival of Uncle Cornelius. She ran to the
door to open it.
The air had been very still all day, but as he entered he seemed to have
brought the wind with him, for the first moan of it pressed against
rather than shook the casement of the low-ceiled room.
Uncle Cornelius was very tall, and very thin, and very pale, with large
gray eyes that looked greatly larger because he wore spectacles of the
most delicate hair-steel, with the largest pebble-eyes that ever were
seen. He gave them a kindly greeting, but too much in earnest even in
shaking hands to smile over it. He sat down in the arm-chair by the
chimney corner.
I have been particular in my description of him, in order that my reader
may give due weight to his words. I am such a believer in words, that I
believe everything depends on who says them. Uncle Cornelius Heywood’s
story told word for word by Uncle Timothy Warren, would not have been
the same story at all. Not one of the listeners would have believed a
syllable of it from the lips of round-bodied, red-faced, small-eyed,
little Uncle Tim; whereas from Uncle Cornie--disbelieve one of his
stories if you could!
One word more concerning him. His interest in everything conjectured or
believed relative to the awful borderland of this world and the next,
was only equalled by his disgust at the vulgar, unimaginative forms
which curiosity about such subjects has assumed in the present day. With
a yearning after the unseen like that of a child for the lifting of the
curtain of a theatre, he declared that, rather than accept such a
spirit-world as the would-be seers of the nineteenth century thought or
pretended to reveal,--the prophets of a pauperised, workhouse
immortality, invented by a poverty-stricken soul, and a sense so greedy
that it would gorge on carrion,--he would rejoice to believe that a man
had just as much of a soul as the cabbage of Iamblichus, namely, an
aerial double of his body.
“I’m so glad you’re come, uncle!” said Kate. “Why wouldn’t you come to
dinner? We have been so gloomy!”
“Well, Katey, you know I don’t admire eating. I never could bear to see
a cow tearing up the grass with her long tongue.” As he spoke he looked
very much like a cow. He had a way of opening his jaws while he kept his
lips closely pressed together, that made his cheeks fall in, and his
face look awfully long and dismal. “I consider eating,” he went on,
“such an animal exercise that it ought always to be performed in
private. You never saw me dine, Kate.”
“Never, uncle; but I have seen you drink;--nothing but water, I must
confess.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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